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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi!My bf and I just broke up in this past week. We have been best friends for quite a while, and were really in love (yes, I'm 15--I know you're going to say we aren't in love, but let's move on from that). We broke up because we were too busy and he didn't have the time to spend with me as I deserve; he felt that this wasn't fair to me, so he ended it. I'm absolutely devastated.Yes, teenage heartbreak.He wants to go back to being best friends IMMEDIATELY. I don't know what he would do without me, and I him. Basically, our relationship is EXACTLY the same now as it was when we were together except that we don't kiss or hold hands anymore. But whenever I think about him I get the same feeling of how much I love him. I'm still physically attracted to him. Would it be morally wrong for me to suggest that we become best friends with (limited) benefits (I have a purity pledge)? Would it be wrong for other reasons?Doesthis make me appear desperate?I just want the physical stuff back, but I'm not willing to lose a friend for it. Would he be more willing if he didn't feel he was tying me down because we didn't have an official title of bf/gf?That's a lot of questions, thanks so much!
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female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (12 May 2009):
 Hi, I totally get what you're saying and I don't think people should dismiss your love because you are 15, it's just as real and just as painful as when you're 24! I had a similar experience and although I don't think it's morally wrong that you want a friend with benefits, I really don't think it's something you should do. I've been there and the boy in question just completely lost all respect for me and I ended up feeling so used I was worse off than before. Women are not able to switch off their emotions and you'll never get over him. I know it's painful now but you're so young and there's somebody out there for you, try to move on and not waste your time on a relationship that's going nowhere. Btw, he'd probably love it if you chose to be friends with benefits-don't let him think you're that girl! good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): Don't be his friend! I have gone through this an all you'll get in return is agony and distress. Move on, Find new friends, and don't try to be friends with someone who doesnt want you the way you want them.
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