A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I was seeing someone about 4/5 years ago. Only went out for 4 months. Hardly saw him due to shifts and because he just wasn't bothered. We remained friends and I would be happy for him if he met someone else. So there's no feelings on my part.During the 4 months, I was introduced to his friend. He works abroad. We never met again due to him working out of this country. We then added each other on fb. Been chatting for a year or so. Get on really well. Got to know him better over the last few months. We were supposed to meet in April when he was on leave over here, but he got cold feet and didn't meet up with me. But we kept in contact and then said again that he wanted to meet and treat to me to lunch as I've been supportive over a matter bothering him.I didn't really take this seriously due to the last time. He then had to come back home, contacted me we then met. I was nervous as I didn't know what to expect. But we got on really well. He then texted me to say would be nice to meet again. He then texted me again today asking if i wanted to meet. I said yes then we met up. He paid for the first time, so I insisted on paying today. He accepted and said it was really kind of me.He's going back out to work tomorrow. But will return again next month.I just want to know what he may be thinking? I know it's hard to second guess... but may be a guy can understand better?Also the guy that I was seeing 4/5 years ago, keeps calling me and asking to meet up. I don't understand why he keeps contacting me. I'm not interested and have told him many times that I'm busy. He asked me if i was seeing someone, I said no. The two guys i mention in my scenario were cloes friends before, but have drifted. Don't really (if at all) speak to each other anymore.Thank you for your time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you FlashTony and Jon Vim, I really appreciate your perspective on the matter.
Yeah I did kind of suspect the ex from 4/5 years ago may be bored/or come out of another failed relationship. He keeps ringing me asking to meet up. Im not a nasty person so Ive told him that it's not a good idea and that I'm really busy. Asked him what he wanted, he said just a chat. But I;m not that niave either.
Re the current friend, I texted him to say have a safe journey back and hopefully see you when you get back. He replied ".... Cool, see you soon. So I guess thats a good thing.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you FlashTony and Jon Vim, I really appreciate your perspective on the matter.
Yeah I did kind of suspect the ex from 4/5 years ago may be bored/or come out of another failed relationship. He keeps ringing me asking to meet up. Im not a nasty person so Ive told him that it's not a good idea and that I'm really busy. Asked him what he wanted, he said just a chat. But I;m not that niave either.
Re the current friend, I texted him to say have a safe journey back and hopefully see you when you get back. He replied ".... Cool, see you soon. So I guess thats a good thing.
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A
male
reader, Flashtony +, writes (15 June 2011):
Deal with them separately... first the 4/5 years ago guy... hate to be cynical, but my guess is that he's either bored in his relationship or has broken up with someone... the 'are you single?' question for a guy is a green light to try and reignite a fling if you answer yes... so next time he contacts you... you have to say 'sorry I'm sort of seeing someone and it's not really appropriate for us to be in contact'.
The other guy sounds interested in you, next time you meet, be open.. I like you... are you single? etc...
only my perspective!... good luck
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