| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I was with my boyfriend for 2 years and recently engaged and then dumped. He says he doesn't want a relationship as too many things were missing, although he loves me. I have explained to him that I behaved in the way I did to protect myself. I now realise that I want him and want to have the relationship he wants - friendship and doing things together. But he still wants the spilt and we are continuing to live together. The annoying thing is that he never even tried to work things out.
View related questions:
engaged Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2005): I agree with the other answer, that it's probably time to let go of this relationship. If you felt that you had to protect yourself during the relationship, then it probably wasn't right for you either. Either you or he will need to move out soon, so you both can move on. Some relationships just don't have enough left to "fix". It's not that you have a problem, or he has a problem, it's just that the two of you just aren't quite right for each other.
When you do find your "soulmate", you both will just "know" it's right and will feel like you've known each other your whole lives and love to spend time together without having to work at it. True love involves mutual respect, admiration and trust that just magically seems to grow in your heart so strongly, you don't know what hit you. I wish you well and I'm sure the right guy will fall for you before when you least expect it!
A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (3 October 2005):
 It could be the case that you will have to let this one go especially if you have explained to him exactly how you feel. If he is aware that you behaved in a certain way so that you wouldn't get hurt and he knows that you would really like to do the things together that you say and wish to work at the relationship, then he does know and has the chance to alter things.
I am assuming that you are telling him that you want to do all the things that he said was missing from the relationship. You need to also know whether there were any feelings missing from the relationshio from his side. Make sure the communication channels are open and that he is aware of how you feel.
However, if he still wishes to split, then you have tried your hardest. There isn't anything else you can do but continuing to live together under such circumstances is very difficult and I would suggest either you or he finds somewhere else to live very quickly so that you can move on with your life. While you are still under the same roof, the longer the healing process.
Talk to him today.
...............................
A
reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (3 October 2005):
In these situations it normally because he cheated on you and now he has left for someone else because the other female put her foot down saying that he will lose her and that she will tell you (therefore, he would lose both of you)...there is nothing to sort out, there is for you because you love him and didnt want the split, however, he did. He got engaged shortly after he cheated on you to keep you sweet and not expecting he was cheating and being unfaithful.
This could be wrong and im sorry if the advice is naff but 9 in 10 times the above is correct.
Think about it... why do you split up so soon after getting engaged which is the first step 2 committing to each other for life?
You still live together! Now you should MAKE him TALK and TRY to WORK something out. Keep bothering him until he speaks, he probably would spill the beans so-2-speak.
...............................
|
