A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had to let a guy I was seeing go a couple of days ago because he was having sex with other women. I had an idea that he was seeing other girls as he told me a couple times that he wasn't ready to commit right now. I have been seeing in for over a year. It was really hard for me to do, as I felt like we had really good chemsitry and he was such a fun guy to be around. I was totally relaxed around him when we hung out, went to the movies or walked around downtown. We could always make each other laugh, and it was getting to the point where we really knew each other well, personally. He was really into me when we first met, but it did die down after awhile, but our conversations and fun we had together never changed. I helped him out a lot and did him many favors, but I honestly didnt mind because he never ordered me, he always thanked me and was really grateful. He loved giving me hugs, talking to me at school and we had so much in common.But lately, we have been getting into horrible fights. Worse and worse. I knew he was interested in seeing other women but it was so hard for me to let him go, as he still treated me really nicely and held my hand and kissed me. He continued to want to talk to me even though I said I did not want to have sex anymore unless I was his only partner. We could still talk about anything together, except for things in which I became emotional. He does not handle emotional issues very well, especially if they might involve him doing something to me. I finally told myself I have to move on and forget about him. He is a nice guy but I just like him too much to see him mess around with other girls as well. It made me feel really insecure. He is really into girls with tans, big butts, large boobs and bikini poster type girls. I noticed that was the type of girls all his friends were. I on the other hand was complete opposite. I am skinny, petite, have barely an A cup, a narrow body, im pale, natural blonde and I have a long neck and lanky relatively long legs and arms. Yet he always told me that I turn him on so much, he loved the way I looked, how cute and pretty I was, he really liked my sweetness and he felt lucky to have me in his life and I was special. So I often wondered what I was to him.Many of our fights were about me saying I needed a break from him and that I really can't be dating him or seeing him if he wants to see other girls. I didn't like that. I told him I couldnt be his friend for now as seeing him was painful and I felt like I was falling for him. I needed to move on and find somebody who wants me and only me. I think it hurt him a lot at first it sounded like he was going to cry but then got really angry and told me that we werent married, he had the right to have sex with as many women as he wants to, as he is a grown man and I wasnt his soulmate, im not his girlfriend, and I cant tell him what to do. He said how I pissed him off and kept asking why I didnt want to be his friend anymore. I guess he couldnt really get that I really needed to get over him so I could concentrate on other things. I told him again I really couldnt see him anymore for awhile. He told me again that I piss him off and that I need to think about a lot of things. He then hung up. I am wondering if I really did the right thing by letting go of our friendship. I feel that if he really cares for me and wants me in his life he will come back when he is ready. But I feel like we are so attracted to each other that we cannot help but kiss, hug and want other stuff. It feels just too natural with him. His gentle touch and everything melts me and the way he would kiss me then look me in the eyes then kiss me again. I just felt like it was best for us to do. I drove him crazy sometimes with this and I really didn't want to bother him anymore. I am just worried that I hurt his feelings. What is your input on this? Thank you for reading.
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a break, boobs, insecure, move on, petite, soulmate Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): I'm sorry you have gone through this very hurtful experience. You have to look after yourself and your own feelings now, and when you worry about hurting him, consider the pain he has allowed you to feel. You had no choice but to put an end to your friendship, as from what you say, to continue it would be too painful. You deserve someone who is going to be able to give you the love that you deserve and treat your feelings with respect. I doubt this man will never make you truly happy, and don't let him make you believe that is your fault.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey everyone, thank you all so much for the responses. I know his behavior is unacceptable but I really find it hard to think of him as a pig, even though he may just be that. It may be because I like him so much I refuse to think that way, but then again I have had experience with other guys who came off as charming and they seemed so fake and I got rid of them. This guy is so different and I never felt like this towards someone before. He has let me in on some of his insecurities. He has told me that he wishes his eyes were a different color and he feels down on himself sometime. He is afraid of people thinking negatively about him and doesnt like it when people stare at him. He is on the verge of giving up on his childhood dream when he is so close to making it. From what he has told me, it sounds like he never had a dad and he told me that his dad has gotten many women pregnant. And when he told me this I could see in his eyes that it hurt him. I find it so hard to think that he is a pig deep down inside, maybe right now, but I hope someday that he changes, not for me, but for himself so that he can be truly happy. I want to be there for him, but because of the way he was treating me and my feelings for him, I can't be right now. Ahhhhh its so hard for me to deal with at times. I really dont want to see something bad happen to him.
*Brittani
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (12 March 2010):
 He sounds like a pig to use you like that, and he manipulated you. This guy is toxic to your life. I'm really sorry that you had to go through this, but there will be some good to come out of this... you've learned something, become wiser. I hope you get the happiness you deserve... but stay the hell away from this guy!!
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A
female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (11 March 2010):
 his the type of guy that wants the best of both worlds and i think you done the right thing because if you stayed friends you wouldnt have been able to resist his charm you have to think your not the only girl he is or has done this too so his quite good at minipulating girls but you have to stick to your guns.you deserve to find someone who only wants to be with you not pussy foot around with someone you have no future with and hope that itl go somewhere because it wont.his only getting angry because he isnt getting what he wants i wouldnt worry about hurting his feelings as his clearly not considering yours.if i was you id concentrate on my own life and whats in my best interests
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