A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been w/ the guy I'm dating now for almost 3 years. He has children from a previous relationship that ended over 10 years ago. I have no kids. Alot of times when we pick up his kids for the weekend he is always asking them certain questions and asking how does your mom feel about it, or what did your mom say. If they mentioned that they saw something funny on tv, he's quick to ask whether or not their mother was laughing when she saw it. It just seems as though he asks questions w/ no relevance. He has told me stories of him and his ex that I don't care to hear, he is constantly bitching about her. He has called me by her name a number of times. Usually I can swallow it and go on with my day, but it gets old. I'm wondering from other seperated parents out there, is it normal for him to be asking these questions? Of course I can understand if one of the kids got in trouble or didn't get their grades, he would ask well what does your mom think about it in order to give mutual punishment... but to ask if she thought the last episode of AI was funny or to ask if they think she would like a movie we just watched is taking it a bit far I feel. Like I said, I don't have kids so I don't know whats healthy and whats not. Please let me know if this is normal, I've wondered whether or not he still has feelings for her for the whole 3 years we've spent together. He says no, but his actions tell me something else. Please note also that they DO NOT have a civil relationship, she hates him, he "hates" her. I.E. when the kids mentioned their mother went to a concert, he asks did she have fun, who'd she go w/? I would just like to know if this is normal? I feel that he still has feelings for her, he says no... I'd like to believe that. Do other split couples ask these kinds of questions to their children? Is he using those kids to his advantage to get info on his ex or is it innocent?
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