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He asked to see someone's boobs, but everyone is telling me it's what boys do!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 August 2010) 9 Answers - (Newest, 4 October 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *unkissed23 writes:

me and my bf have been together for 3 years. we were at his sister wedding reception and I found out he asked another girl to see her boobs. I kown this girl shes married with kids and not at all interested in him. He and his sister have know her for ever shes like 7 years older than him. She thought I was mad. and told me she was sorry but i didnt even know it happen so I got so pissed we got in a huge fight and I didnt talk to him for a while he was drunk that night though. But it still hurts and the next day after we were home we talked about it and kinda argued about it. But everyone tells me yeah guys are like that. That I should just have went and talk to another guy ar something to make him mad. but anyway when we talked I told I cant do this anymore, and I wanted to know where we stand anyway( but he didnt say he was stupid and sorry for hurting me).. he talked a lil and got mad then went away. I was upset.. later that night he asked me to go to his friends with him and I was going to go, we were getting ready to leave and he hugged me and I hugged him and I looked up and he was crying? So yeah? So does that me hes sorry, Im guess, just want some input?? oh yeah and this moring I asked him why he cried and he said cuz "I dont wanna lose you and I did a stupid thing".

View related questions: boobs, drunk, wedding

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A male reader, bitcracked Hong Kong +, writes (4 October 2010):

Im a guy and I love women, sometimes, you know I get sooooooooooooooooo lonely and feel that a woman who is beautiful and has a nice body just feels awesome to be around and appreciate for the art with which God constructed her.

I confess, I love looking at the female body, I would personally not like to be a woman, but I love appreciating a fine woman, its so how would you say, ethereal.

For me, I'm single and I struggle with a dilemna. I find a girl really attractive and I want to see her boobs. Ok, if I was committed in a relationship, thats breaking the code of honestly as to what it means to be in a relationship.

But come on girls, if a guy is single and sparkles at the chance of a woman to show her, her wonderful boobs, have mercy on that man, even if you don't show him your gorgeous boobs.

Have a heart for crying out loud.

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A female reader, DanceInTheDark Canada +, writes (30 August 2010):

DanceInTheDark agony auntSure that's what guys do.

The kind of guys you don't want to be with, though.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010):

Crying doesn't mean anything....it's just a way to manipulate you emotionally. I dated a guy who was crying over his ex-girlfriend and when they got back together, he went right back to his same old tricks..and so did she.

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A female reader, sunkissed23 United States +, writes (17 August 2010):

sunkissed23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks everyone, Im not making it easy on him, Im done being right there for him. Oh yeah and he hardly ever crys in front on me. When he did it was like he didnt want me to see to.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (17 August 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntNo, that's not what normal guys do. Take a firm line with this guy - he needs to clean up his act and behave like a serious boyfriend if he wants to deserve a girlfriend.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010):

A guy who loves you deeply and is suppose to be in a committed relationship DOES NOT go around asking to see breasts. All of this crap about "boys will be boys" was started by the male dominated society---it has nothing to do with biology and a need for the male to "spread his seed." That is a lie honey and don't you allow anyone even another woman to convince you otherwise.

Tell you bf to either get his act together or he will find himself ALONE or with a nagging and bitter woman. Life is too short to be playing these sorts of games and taking true love for granted. If he wishes to act as though he is single and missing out on something.....then let him go, but I hope he knows that maybe when he is ready to settle down or find that right woman, she may not be there...karma at it's best.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (17 August 2010):

YouWish agony auntUmm...no, that's not what guys in committed relationships do. Asking to see other girl's boobs is what 13 year old adolescent single virgin boys do, not men. Of COURSE you'd be pissed, and you have every right to be! What a moron he is, and deep down, he knows it or he wouldn't have said that he's doing something stupid.

I don't know who your friends are, but "guys are like that"?? No, they're not. That explanation works for guys scratching themselves, passing gas and laughing about it, or bonding over a grill discussing fantasy football, not asking to see other women's boobs who is not their girlfriend/wife. BS and double BS.

I'd tell him that if he wants to act like a single drunken frat boy, you'd be happy to grant his wish. Then leave him for someone with a hell of a lot more class and maturity. End of story.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (17 August 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntHe was drunk when he asked to see this woman's boobs? U have every right to be teed off I know I would and being drunk is a sorry excuse. I would say he's genuinely sorry if he shed some tears. Can u forgive him? If u do I wouldnt make it easy on him at first, and tell him being drunk is no excuse next slip up will cost him the relationship.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010):

Yea that is not right at all. I would be extremely upset if my boyfriend disrespected me enough to ask another girl to see her boobs. That's like you asking some guy "can I see your penis?". I doubt your boyfriend would be excited about that! The crying could be real or it could be fake, but either way he seems sorry and I think that calls for a second chance. But one second chance is all you should give. If he messes up again, you know that he won't change.

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