A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok I met my boyfriend of two years in London.. we moved in together.. He got stomach problems, couldn't digest his food properly, I asked him to go the doctors in London but wouldn't go cause didn't trust them cause they wasn't Italian, it became very difficult, he treated me quite bad, telling me to shut up and that I'm stupid all the time and so I found the courage and left him. He was very angry at first and threatened to set fire to my clothes if I didn't see him.. Eventually I did see him and he was in a bad state. Soon after he moved back to his home country Italy.We spoke on the phone all the time and I remembered I still loved him.. I was stuck in a rut in London and had wanted to move away even before I met him. So after going over to see him for a week and him organising an interview in my field of work.. Him and his family pushed for me to move over there. I told him only if we live apart cos we will kill each other otherwise. So I did, and I have no regrets I did at all, because I'm really into this new opportunity. The problem is my 'boyfriend. We don't live apart. We live with his family, like in London he constantly argues with everyone, he absolutely hates his mother, he blames me for him losing everything in London and that he is back where he started. With his illness he has been to alot of doctors in Sicily and they have all told him he has nothing wrong with him and that it is Psyhcological.. That was in Dec! So since August when he came back he has just ate and slept. And cursed everyone.. He was the same in London with our flatmates and behind his boss's back.. Now I'm in this small town, he doesn't want me to make friends. I have a couple of friends at work but havn't been out with them yet. They wonder how I can stay in so much. I actually tryin to complete a T.E.F.L course to bring in more money so that is a good reason but not the point. I feel I have lost my confidence to even make friends in this town becasue of the negative impact he has immersed in me. His mother keeps askin me to convince him to try and get a job away from here, his dad puts him down all the time, some deserved some not.. I keep saying to his family force him to go to therapy!! But I've been saying it for months now. I'm loving both my jobs here and don't want to miss out on this opportunity. I know I'm not happy with and need to leave him, but at this moment I can't cos I have no where to go, don't earn enough money for rent etc.. Once I pass my t.e.f.l course Iìll get more english students cos I advertise and I'm the only mother tongue for miles. I don't understand why he wanted me to come here when he making my life hell. I know he is depressed, can't find work, so he is takin it out on me, I let him get away with it sometimes but most of the times I take a fit.Now after his father saying all he does is eat here he is on hunger strike.. and keeps sayin he is starvin himself to death.. His mum keeps askin me whether she should call the men in white coats to take him away!! I'm not a professional this is all too much for me
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at work, confidence, depressed, flatmate, money, moved in Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question.. Now he has agreed to go to therapy
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 April 2010):
 If you can't find an alternative place to stay there , then your only options is to go back to UK.
Best of luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou so much for responding!! It has helped alot..Today his uncle came round again with his daughter and her white bunny rabbit.. lovely.. and he finally ate. He was very affectionate towards me in front of everyone and everyone was happy all day. It was really nice. I was thinking to myself how long is this going to last. When he feels sick he gets very irritated and again he got very angry with me telling me to shut up and get out the room. I can understand a bit if he feels sick.. But the way he talks to me is disgusting. So I left the rooma nd started to watch a film. Then he comes in tryin to make me laugh..by throwin a belt at me So I just shouted at him uhntil his parents came and calmed us down.. I SAID i can't take it him happy one minute then very angry the next..Everyone is sayin leave but I really dont know where at the moment , back to uk? Or do I stick it out until I can afford my own place?Also I have arranged to meet my work mates next week.. so that could help havin friendsSorry if this is boring and thanks
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 April 2010):
Just run. As fast as you can. Don't waste another second of your time. This man has issues that you can't fix, and the worst thing you can do is stay.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (11 April 2010):
 Get yourself away from him, as soon as you can, and forever. You clearly have a lot going for you. You can't save him, and as long as you're near him he will poison you. Leave.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (11 April 2010):
I think his mother is right , you should call those men in white coats to take him forcefully and get treated for his sickness.
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