A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HELP!!!! ok here is the thing ive been friends with this guy for 8 years we know absolutly everything there is to know about eachother i know things that not even his supposed wife to be knows. he only trusts me with most things we are best friends we did the dating thing off and on and then he went away to basic military training and on one of his phone calls to me he asked me to marry him right. well wen i went with his family to see him he basically took it back right ok well he came down for exodus which is miltary for christmas leave and he was with her he has told me several times he does not love her and does not want to be with her. we went out to his paretns and had an awsome time he told me the reason he broke off our engagement was because i went from 0 to 100 in like 2.5 seconds he has told me repeatedily he wantss to marry me and now he is marrying her. i think he is just jumping into something he will regret for the rest of his life and i dont want to see my bestfriend marry someone he does not want to be with. i love him and i want to be his wife i know military life is not easy and being a militray wife is hard but i think i can do it he has told me the reason he is not with me is because he cannot deal with losing me and being away from me for so long and that with her he does not care. i just want to be with him but he refuses to see that im tired of fighting im about to give up i need help i cannot let him go he is my soul mate and i lvoe him
View related questions:
best friend, christmas, engaged, military, soulmate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (10 January 2011):
 So you guys have been best friends for 8 years and dated on and off, were you currently boyfriend and girlfriend when he proposed? Why hasn't your relationship ever worked?
I love CindyCares answer, the bullshit meter is working overtime on this one.
This young lad hasn't a clue what he really wants, he tells you he can't stand this women but yet he's engaged to be married to her? So when she ends up pregnant with his child, he'll still claim he doesn't love her? Come on.
I'll let you in on a little secret, this marriage will most likely result in annulment or a divorce. Why? Military wives or husbands cheat, soldiers jump into a marriage way too fast, and these women just can't cut it as a military wife.
You have no idea how hard being a military wife is, basically you're in a LDR till he retires or gets out of the service. I suggest being a military girlfriend for a great while (and go through one deployment) before you become a military wife.
Anyways, there's nothing you can do or so to keep him from marrying this girl. I suggest you move on with your life and let your best friend make his own mistakes.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 January 2011):
 I would take a step back and slow the heck down. There is NO NEED to get married so soon or so young.
Get yourself an education, make something of yourself and your life THEN find someone to share it with.
If he REALLY wants to be with you, he will. He sounds like a flake. Total flake who doesn't really know what he wants. He needs to grow the heck up. Army life is hard enough as it is.
...............................
A
female
reader, damsel in distress  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 in my experience, i once had a boyfriend but still somehow liked someone else and whenever my boyfriend asked how i feel about this guy, i couldn't bring it upon myself to tell him the real truth about how i felt about this other guy. sorry to say but chances are, he just doesn't want to hurt you. He loves and cares deeply about this girl, enough to marry her, and not you.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Can't you hear a noise,like a buzz ?...
... Is it a bird ? ... Is it an airplane ?...
It's the bullshit detector !!
Aw please.
He says he does not love her and does not want to be with her. Then, WHY is he with her, why is he gonna marry her.
He is an adult, and a military man as well. A pretty independent type , I suppose. He is also supposed to be brave- and he has not got the nerve to dump a girl he does not want to be with ?....
The reason he gave you- he cares too much about you so he would suffer when you are apart, while with her he won't have this problem, - is romantic and flattering for you, but totally illogical. It's like a guy cutting his nose off so he won't have to blow it when he catches a cold.
I think it's more likely that he proposed on a whim, a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing, prompted by distance, loneliness, a bout of sentimentalism ( or maybe booze ), then he took it back- because he may like you , and even care about you in his own way,- but surely not to the point of marrying you. As confirmed by the fact he is marrying another girl.
Actions always speak louder than words.
...............................
A
female
reader, tozziie  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Sounds like a bit of a sticky situation to me. If he's going to treat you like that, back away. He obviously doesn't feel the same way about you.Or maybe you're reading the situation wrong? He "basically" asked you to marry him? How do you mean?
...............................
|
