A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi i've known this guy for about 4 years now. His family knows my family and mine know his but we're not very close.i've always had a crush on him but always played hard to get and stayed aloof because he either just got out of a relationship or had a girlfriend and didnt seem interested in me. Well recently he saw me at a party and i played hard to get again...i didnt say hi to him until he said hi then walked off. later at night i realised he sent me a sms asking me why i don talk to him etc.what happened after a few sms's was me basically hinting that i liked him but not actually saying it...but i sms'ed him that he should understand my signs because they are pretty clear to understand...to which he replied that he kinda understands what i'm trying to say and asked me to go for coffee with him. I kept it open and said well sure if you're near my place call me and he said that if i'm near his place to call him and we left it at that. I assumed he would call or sms atleast to keep in touch but he hasnt and its been a month now..was he just playing with me or should i call or sms him? i really like this guy so pls help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): Hi thank you to all my agony aunts!some feedback...i still havent gotten the nerve to pick up the phone and call him him. I was thinking to just drive up to his area one of these days and ask him for coffee...i just hope he says yes!!! I sent him a forwarded sms to which he replied back so thats encouraging!
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 I don't think he was playing with you to be honest. I think this guy does like you, but i feel maybe he thinks you are not that keen on him. That night when you saw him at that party and diden't say hi to him has probably not helped much. He has been playing his cards really close to his chest, probably because he fears rejection. So ultimately you are waiting for him to call you, and he is waiting for you to call him. One of you have got to give abit, drive out to near his place and call him up and ask him if he still fancies that coffee.
All the best & good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): He is probably playing hard to get too. I am not sure why you are playing hard to get but if he asked you for coffee and you really wanted to go, instead of saying 'well if you are near my place, call me,' you should have just said "ok when??"
I mean if you are going to 'play' hard to get and act like you don't care, then make sure you REALLY don't care. Cause if you DO care and you are acting like you don't, then you are giving off the wrong impression to a guy and he is going to think you don't like him and might not contact you.
I mean if you see a guy at a party and barely say hi to him and then just walk away and ignore him, why do you expect him to chase you?? He barely knows you and to top it off you are acting like you have no interest in him. Guys will initially like you based on looks but you need a little bit more than that to keep him interested.
What you should have done was go up to him and said HI! with a smile and give him a kiss on the cheek, ask him about life, how is he, how's school etc. Tell him about you and how well you are doing. I mean let him see who you are! Let him be close enough to smell how good you smell, how outgoing you are, how pretty your expressions are when you talk, how cool you are. Leave a lasting impression on him. That is how you get a guy interested.
But going up to him, barely saying hi, and just walking away? I am sorry but that's just no going to cut it. I mean what are looks anyways if you have no personality and if you don't even know how to use your looks to your advantage.
Your games of playing hard to get are only going to lead you to disappointment. You should try a new tactic to get guys.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): He could be, then again he could be wonering the same thing. Go for it, she who dares wins.
I like a girl and i wish i had that kind of signal, all i have are a few smiles. Back to your problem, HE said hi at the party, HE sms'ed you, HE asked you out for coffee, its your turn to do something.
By the way, if one asks a person out and they dont say yes ("sure if you're near my place" doesnt count as yes), then its no.
"sure if you're near my place" is what you say to someone you dont like but dont want to hurt with a "no".
Most of the time, when people say "next time your here", it never happens.
I say it to friends (not as a rejection) but the chance never comes up, the only time we meet up is when someone actually sets a date and time.
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A
female
reader, Megan Deetes +, writes (6 December 2007):
 I think he's worrying about rejection,thats the reason most guys don't come straight over at the bar or ask you out staright away, they want to know where they stand with you. You've shown him your not easy now let go :) he likes you now you don't have to be so cold :) he probably thinks you don't like him, so pick up the phone and get talking :D xx Good Luck message me if you have any more problems xxxx
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