A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I had a one night stand with someone I met in a club. I don't usually do this kind of thing. After we had sex he basically asked if I wanted to be f*ck buddies with him. I was not expecting that at all. I also had to leave pretty soon after, but he walked me home. He texted me the next day asking me if I wanted to meet up with him that night, I said no, but another time, because I was still hungover from the night before. He hasn't text me since.I just don't know what to think about the whole f*ck buddy situation. My friend said, "you're both at uni, if you don't want anything serious then it doesn't have to be, it could just be a bit of fun." The only thing that is bothering me is the fact that he asked me just after having sex and really took me by surprise. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): FWB's is a dangerous game, they only safely last about a month of two before one or both people start to have feelings for the other.
If you think there's a chance you might fall for this guy then I wouldn't be his FWB, it never progresses further and if he wanted to date you he would have asked you out instead.
Your choice, but I recommend, you search the terms 'FWB' 'friends with benefits' on this site to see the dangers for yourself. I've done it, I know lots that have done it. It always ends the same way. Feelings develop and one or both people get hurt.
It really just never works. I have seen one or two cases where both people fell in love with each other at the exact same time, but it really is exceptionally rare.
You're obviously attracted to the guy, and while it's nice of your friend to say it can be casual if you want it to be, it doesn't work that way. You see even in casual relationships there is a bit of romance, so that need is satisfied, with FWB's that isn't present but your feelings might grow nonetheless, this guy could be a guy you grow to really like but he doesn't want anything more than sex from you. I must also warn you that it usually tends to be the girl that gets hurt. You said yourself, one night stands aren't your thing, well why do you think 20 night stands are going to be any different? Because that's what FWB's is it's lots of one night stands with the same guy with no chance of a relationship developing. It's not even a casual relationship, it's just sex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): I think in the long run it's best to just leave at as a one night stand and move on. If you aren't 100% sure on the idea then don't consider it. Look for a guy who wants a relationship or just be single.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): As long as you always use precautions as he could be having sex with other partners, and by no means has to let you know as you are only f**k buddies, and the last thing you want is some horrible STI.
I would be wary that he asked you so soon after having sex that he might be asking more people in the same way and chancing his luck!
Bear in mind future serious relationships and the inevitable time where you discuss with them your past encounters, if this is something you would be ashamed to disclose then perhaps it isn't the best thing to do.
Good luck in the future x
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): Do what your comfetable doing... but you have to be prepared for him being with other girls. And you have to realize he will ne using you or sex, and that's fine if that's what your using him for. But you have to be sure you want this cause it could damage your self worth.
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