A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:September 15th was the 3 year anniversary of my bf and I. On Monday, September 19th, he had got home from work and called me and told me his parents were arguing and his mom was packing up and "going to a tradeshow" for a week and left him $1000. My bf said he was really tired and didn't want to talk about what was happening. So he started talking to me like normal and asked me if I wanted to go on a snow trip with his "greek family" from college in January. The last time he had a dinner with his "greek family," I wasn't allowed to go bc there were no "bf's and gf's allowed"..so this time I said "I thought there were no gf's allowed" and he got irritated and said "I already said you could go okay? you don't have to be a b!tch about it." I was just..dumbfounded..I told him I was going to sleep and he said in an attitude-y tone "BYE." I figured he was just irritated by what was going on with his parents.And that..was the last time I talked to him on the phone. That weekend, it was my bday. I had previously told him where I was having dinner and the time. In my mind I kept telling myself he would surprise me and everything would be okay. He hasn't missed my bday in 3 years. But no, all I got was a text at midnight that said simply "Happy Birthday."I texted him a week after and asked if he was ever going to talk to me again and he replied "yeah, I never said I wasn't going to." We used to talk every morning and every night and that just stopped. It's been over a month and I'm still really not sure what happened. He did text me a couple weeks back and said "Hey u! Are you ever going to talk to me?" And that just confused me more. I thought he was the one that stopped talking to me??It's been so hard for me to move on without closure. But he doesn't respond when I tell him we need to talk about what happened. He'll only respond to me with basic chit chat and jokes (like a friend). I don't know what to do to move on. I've been going out with friends, reading books, etc but in my mind, I'm always questioning what happened.Is there any way I can get him to talk to me about what happened? Or am I just supposed to reach my own conclusion that we're not together anymore?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): This man is horribly immature. He didnt need to put emotion at all into his response about why you could go with to the greek family gathering. I find that childish on his part and also childish with his lack of communication skills. He needs to address the problems in your relationship appropriately and not thru text messages or emails...face to face is what its all about. Do not initiate anything here. Honestly, he treated u like s*it and he should man up and apologize genuinely and reassure you how he plans to change in some ways. If you dont hear from him after a bit, break it off as relationships are two way streets for communication and I dont see the other car parallel to you.
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (25 October 2010):
 this is aweful,honestly.and it can drive u crazy.
here's what u do:
send him a text saying that you should meet up and talk.tell him its up to him,he should just let u know 3 days beforehand so u wont make diff plans.make the text sound serious.
if he sends a how u doin text don't respond.
wait till he does what u said in the text.
wait for 2 weeks.
come back with feedback.
this story is really weird!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have called him a couple times and texted him that we should talk. But he just ignores me, and will text me a few days later with a generic text like "how's work?" or "how was your day?"
I've often considered just showing up at his door and demanding an answer. But I feel like it might invade his space and make him run away from me even farther.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): Are you two still exclusive? If so, he's probably wondering what's going on, too. Instead of waiting for him to contact you, be a big girl and make a move to talk to him. You'll never know what he's thinking or what's going on if you don't.
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