A
male
age
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anonymous
writes:I am a gay man, an I have been with my bf for 18yrs, in 2010 I was diagnosed with Hiv he was not and then I was admitted to hospital with pneumonia and nearly died my CD4 count was 19 in a healthy human it's over 500 and in the thousands. Throughout all this my bf has stuck by me and been supportive but our sex life has gone down the pan , in fact I can count on one hand the amount of times we have had sex in the last 5 years, I don't blame him cos I know it's a scary thing HIV. I have since been put on new medication and my viral load is undetectable and my blood count is very healthy.Recently we have not communicated with each other very well and in fact he recently applied for a new job and never told me but he told all his colleagues at work. I was upset but I never chastised him. The point of my question is this I have been lonely and recently met a guy who is also hiv positive but is only 26 I am a very young looking 60. Well it's getting a bit serious now and we have been seeing each other for a year , he lives in Africa and has never asked me for anything we see each other regularly and I am now at a crossroads what to do , any advice ?
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at work, hiv , move on, sex life Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2016): Despite your predicament, you're a lucky guy on two counts. You're 60 years old and you have a 26 year old guy who's after you. And you have a long term partner who stood by you during your diagnosis and treatment for HIV. Now the question is: which one of these do you value most. The answer to this question ultimately reveals a lot about yourself.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2015): This sounds like a very difficult situation. You say that your new partner is 26 and of African descent. Your a 60 year old English guy. Are you sure that there isn't any more to this than just a poor African guy looking for a better life with a rich English guy?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did forget to mention in my original question that my bf and I had an agreement about seeing other people however we both never really talked about people we had met and never brought them back to our home. I can understand how some people may see this as cheating, others may not.But in all honesty I really wanted some impartial,advice about my situation and not a lecture on morality, if that makes sense.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2015): I'm glad you're doing well. That's a blessing. It's about a year too late to seek advice. You're already cheating on your long-term boyfriend. I think its best you move on completely bc you just changed the nature of problem from loneliness and intimacy to cheating. It is better to take the high road and move on the damage is done and probably irreparable. Walk into the new year honest and leave your long-term relationship. Happy New Year.
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