A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Auntsi am in a bit of a pickle i am with someone for the last four years, but a few months ago me and a male friend who is getting married soon to a good friend of mine started flirting with me, we have always got on really well we have been constant dirty texting each other and he keeps callin me babe and says he loves me but not in that way i can feel myself falling very hard for him even thouigh i love my b/f very much and cant imagine my life without him - other guy recently said he just has sexual feelings for meam so confused and cant get him out of my head please help
View related questions:
flirt, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Parisienne  +, writes (27 September 2008):
 I understand that the attention from your friend's fiance is stimulating and seductive. However, he is not acting like a committed partner to a relationship he is about to cement before God. He may be reaching out to you to prove that he's still "got it" and your reaction proves to him that settling down doesn't make him any less attractive.Regardless, if you love your friend as you say you do you need to put a stop to all of this as soon as humanly possible. You enjoy the attentions of this man purely for the rush of being desired. However, the implications for your friend and her life are not as light as this. The situation you are experiencing with this guy is pure infatuation and it ends when you decide it will. You should tell him outright to stop txting you and focus on his future wife. You, in turn, should focus on mending your relationship and/or improving it-- perhaps putting some spice back in. You crave attention and feeling attractive. You can get this from someone who cares about you, but not this guy. Tell him to scram, and if he doesn't get while the getting is good then you need to cut contact with him immediately.If he is truly your friend he will understand that things between you both must progess to platonic and remain strictly friendly from this point forward. This is a wedding gift that you can give your friend. If he persists in trying to pursue you despite your attempts to remove yourself from his attentions then you need to do what any good friend would do and alert your friend. Yes it will shock and hurt her, but no more so than learning about his cheating ways after the cake is eaten and ink is dry on wedding documents. Good luck hun, but you deserve better than this.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (26 September 2008):
 Sorry Ms.Anonymous, but bad, hurtful behavior should never be condoned or encouraged. If you think that's insulting then you need to get a grip.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): Does ayone who gives a reply ever give a positive answer and can be comforting as opposed to insulting people allt he time
we all make mistakes
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): Wow!!! This scenario has disaster written all over it. He is playing you all the way. Can't you see that? Trust me when I tell you that being naught and sneaky I'd alot of fun until you get caught and reality hit you in the face. Its not gonna be worth the price you pay. Your gonna lose your b/f your friend and once this gets in your pants a few times he'll be gone too!
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 September 2008):
He's either just playing with you or he's grooming you to be his bit on the side. Both of you are not behaving well. You certainly are not acting like you love your boyfriend very much, and I feel for your "good friend" with friends like you who needs enemies? Stop this nonsense immediately or you'll be very sorry.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): You have one of two options.1. You arrange to meet with him, have SEX and get it out of your systemor2. stop these messages and contact with him immediately.You need to take control of yourself and the situation; it is leading to nothing but HURT and disaster.It is giving you both an increase in adrenalin and is exciting but there is no love or no FUTURE; either spoil the FUN and the EXCITEMENT and have SEX or stop this infatuation and FANTASY.I do hope you are WISE and will know what is the right thing to do!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): He's getting married to a good friend of yours? With friends like you the poor girls certainly doesn't need any enemies. He's a nasty two timing rat, and you are the worst friend possible. Not really your fauly entirely, you are stuck in a boring relationship and crave excitement. I know what it's like, been there, done that etc. Send him one last text telling him that you should end these conversations for all concerned, you wish him the best of luck and hope you can remain on friendly terms when you see each other blah blah. Then turn your phone off, take out the sim, break the sim and throw it away, go and buy another one, that way, he can't contact you and you can't contact him. To everyone else, you simply have a new number. This can lead no-where, he doesn't like you in that way, he never will, he wanks off on the messages you send him, and that is entirely it. Can't imagine why on earth would be interested in someone like him anyway, crikey, he'd hardly make great boyfriend material would he?! Leave him alone, stop being so nasty to your so-called friend. Stop being so selfish and thinking about your needs only (sorry to be harsh, but you know it's the truth). Best of luck xx
...............................
|
