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Should I back off? I'm not sure what to do with him, as I am so out of the loop on this dating lark!

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 September 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 24 September 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hello,

I am a 33 year old woman who has been dating a 40 year old man for 4 months now. We spend every weekend together and, two weeks ago, we went away for a holiday for a week. During the holiday, I told him that I was falling in love with him. He said he hoped I would understand that he is a slow burner and needed to be with someone for a long time before falling in love. I said of course, and that I hadn't said it just to hear him say it back. However, I now feel really silly and very vulnerable. I've noticed that he never pays me compliments or seems overly keen to see me, and I am wondering whether he actually likes me to the same extent as I like him. I've got nothing to go on and no way of knowing whether he is with me just because he doesn't have a great social life and therefore would stay in every weekend if he was single, or whether he really is a 'slow burner'. I'm not sure what to do next, whether to back off and let him chase me a bit, or wether to keep on as am (being keen to see him, calling him etc). Thanks for reading this, any advice would be great - I am so out of the loop with this dating lark as it's been a while since I was last with someone new!! x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008):

He may be a slow burner but I doubt it. It really seems to me that you are his BTN. Which stands for better than nothing. I would move on if I were you.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (24 September 2008):

Well there is never anything wrong with playing a little hard to get.

Leave him alone and let him make the first move for a while.

The worst thing that can happen is that you find out that you need to move on and find a guy who is a bit more open to his feelings.

Good Luck!! xx

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