A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:MY boyfriend has never punched, hit or attacked me.But, he has squeezed my arm so hard it really hurt ( he said it was bacause he thought i was going to hit him )and he pushed me off the bed when i was 3 months pregnant. (didnt hurt myself)But he gets really angry if i dont do things his way ,He has called me a whore, dog, slut, bitch, fat.. etc. and has told me 'he wishes he was still with his ex as she listened to him'I do listen to my boyfriend, I am 8 and a half months pregnant with his baby and I love him a lot but he isn't on the same page... for example we disagree on a lot of things and i have to go his way or else, he isn't very excited or interested in the upcoming birth of our baby and he wont get a job.I asked him to get a job on numerous occasions and he says he will walk out on me if i keep hounding him to get work. But when he goes to his job employment place and they ask if hes been looking, he always says he has been. He's still young (22) and is like a kid in the head, he hangs around his friends each and every weekend (they come to our house all the time) and he has occasionally told me bad things about my family behind their backs. for example he has told me he thinks my mum is an idiot, my dads fucked in the head and my brother (who does have problems) is that fucked he wants to punch him in the face. He has punched holes in walls and kicked the lounge with me on it recently... he always says hes sorry afterwards.. but ... something tells me im stupid for staying with him. but hes the daddy of my baby and i dont want to be a single mum... what do i do? sometimes he can be really sweet and caring but its like he is either totally sweet or a complete monster...
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female
reader, ugh101  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 "He has called me a whore, dog, slut, bitch, fat.. etc." This is called emotional abuse. If he says this to you. He will not know how to express his feelings to a child. So how will he be talking to them? The excact sme way he tlks to you."something tells me im stupid for staying with him. but hes the daddy of my baby and i dont want to be a single mum..." "Somethin" is most likely your gut telling u to get out before he gets worse. And your young you can still get a job support your kido, go to college, and get married to a good guy. Im afraid because of your telling us about the holes n the wall and the kicking. That he could get pissed at you one day and hit you. Maybe consling would help him no how to channel his anger.Best of LuckXX
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 What always strikes me about these posts is how there is a lot of writing about his problems but none about yours.
What is wrong that makes you think raising a child with someone like this is a good idea?
You love him, that is your only defence. That really ain't enough is it? I love chocolate, doesn't mean it is good for me or that can just keep eating it and get away with ignoring the consequences.
Love doesn't fix things. love doesn't change people. Love just makes us blind and completly incapable of being rational.
"something tells me im stupid for staying with him", that is your brain trying to get heard of your heart/hormones.
But all of it doesn't really matter anymore. If a young teen girl wants to waste her life with a loser who might or might not one day start hitting her, that is her business. But things changed. You got pregnant and mothers have a responsibility not for themselves but for their kids.
What future are you giving your child by staying with him? Do you think he is going to change by magic when you give birth? If not, then what is the future. An unemployed dad who is lazy, explodes at the least and at the minimum will be abusive to the mother. And that is if he doesn't do the same to the kid.
The media loves to tell us stories of how people are saved from themselves by love. It just doens't work in real life. Hookers do NOT marry millionaires and the beast is not tamed by the beauty.
Time to grow up girl, leave the fairy tales behind and take care of your child. Give it a future. Single mothers do better then families with abuse.
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