A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:In a long distance relationship for 5 months with a male who has been divorced a little over a year. Felt uncomfortable to visit him as she spends time visiting their cats at his home twice a week. I am told they have an amicable relationship since the divorce and that the cats are their children. Recently in a conversation he said he loved me and at the end of "I love you", he started to say her name. When I said, "What did you just call me...he denied it..eventually he said I don't know why I said it...and it was a Freudian slip. I am just coming out of a divorce and do not want to be made a fool of. I am afraid of being hurt. Why is he telling me he loves me and saying her name? I don't tell him I love him and call him my ex-husbands name. Help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): It was probably just a slip. After we have been with someone for so long their name is always on the tip of our tongue. He said her name for so many years, on occasion you might have also called someone by the wrong name. We all do it. He said he loves you that's the important part.
A
female
reader, abbeymom  +, writes (23 September 2008):
 Okay don't get upset. It's okay. When we've been with someone we loved deeply, for a long time, shared the good and bad with. It's not easy to move on. That doesn't mean he hasn't. It is just that sometimes we can be thinking of that person, remembering things, and each new partner we have takes time to build a relationship again.
After 4 months of dating my fiance (now husband) I called out my ex's name in a dream. Okay maybe not when I said I love you. But here's another. It took my parents three months after we got married to stop calling my new husband by my ex's name. (Ouch!) especially when the guy is a jerk.
Human beings minds play tricks and your BF was prolly right it was a fraudian slip. Now if he continues to do it, like say... oh during sex. Then I'd begin to question his loyalty to you.
Just remember he's healing. He is moving on. He will prolly always love her but if you want to be in his life be understanding over these issues, communicate your feelings and work through it. Joke with him about it.
Example: I have a strange humor. If my BF did that... next day I'd be wearing a name tag with my name printed on it. He'd of course ask why. I'd say just in case you forget who I am, smile and give him a kiss...
Laughter is good medicine.
Keep your chin up and I wish you luck...
~Abbeymom
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