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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I broke up with my abusive ex yesterday. He's been treating me really badly over my past (for the record - I didn't sleep around, I was a virgin when I met him! But I had made out with other guys, and he knew a couple of them. But all that happened before I started dating him, even before I met him). He called me horrible names, like slut and everything. And after we broke up, he continued sending e-mails with links to blog posts from like 3 or 4 years ago, when I had a website where I reviewed gigs by local bands - I had crushes on some of the guys from those bands and he knows them, and now he accuses me of "liking c*ck so much, that's why you wrote that stuff". Things like that. And it's not even true - I liked them for them, not just for sex, and even if I had wanted sex, so what? I wasn't posting "I want sex with him so badly!", plus I never had sex. I only gave a BJ to a very close friend ONCE and he didn't even cum. I was like 17 when I wrote that stuff, I was more immature, and I can't delete that stuff now. He says being younger was no excuse since, he said: "you were already doing grown up stuff, sucking c*ck", etc.He even said he wishes I was dead. I can't believe I'm still in love with him! This hurts so much, especially since all I did during our relationship was to love him. I never disrespected him. He found out about the past because he asked me and I was honest, and he started looking stuff up online. How do I get over him? This was my first boyfriend ever, and I'm scared that future relationships will be the same. Plus I'm sure now he'll go sleeping around for revenge and thinking that our relationship meant so little for him, and thinking about him with others hurts more than he can ever imagine! I never did anything wrong, I don't think. So why do I get all the hurt now? Why did I have to lose the one I love? I'm never kissing a guy again, unless it's something serious, just so that I never get labeled a slut again! I never cheated or anything, so why me?
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broke up, crush, immature, kissing, revenge Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 This guy is not right in the head, and insecure. Don't allow him to make you feel like a criminal, when you know you are not a criminal. You did NOTHING wrong. Hear me again: You did NOTHING wrong. This is his problem, NOT yours. You need to get out of this relationship, ASAP, which you did and now you need to make sure that you STAY gone. He is really really bad news, and he will only make you feel worse and worse about yourself the more you think about him and spend time with him.
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