A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Right here goes!I have recently well 11 weeks to be exact got out of an abusive relationship with my alcoholic ex bf,it has been really hard as he is very volatile and caused trouble at my house by smashing every single window and it wasn't the first time either. Things have calmed down as he has a restraining order and is on a kerfew from 7 till 7.Anyway i feel totally lost,i still have feelings for this guy which i know is ridiculous after the way he has treated me.I havent got a job and havent got the confidence to go for an interview plus i have no identification because he destroyed it.Also i am due in court next week for criminal damage and i am going to be given a high community order so this is also worrying me because then il be even more unemployable.I can't stop thinking about how horrible he was to me at times and also miss him terribly.I know part of this is because im not working and have nothing else in my life to occupy me.A week ago i got talking to him through email (he was drunk) he told me that he cries every day and knows he has done wrong and that he reacted in totally the wrong way and he hopes that i can find it in myself to forgive him. I never returned the email because i know deep down i wont be able to forgive him and know that he is talking crap because i have heard it all before. But i still cant help but wake up every day hoping there is an email from him.I also keep checking whether he has been on facebook and i am becoming quite obsessed about it,but i don't know how to stop.I want him out of my head i dont want to have to think about him anymore but yet i still think i love him.I went out with friends on sunday and i did enjoy myself but i constantly do think about him then aswell. I really want to be free of him i have had no contact up untill last week and it doesnt seem to be getting any easier.What would you say or do if you were in this position?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Blondiebrooke69  +, writes (26 May 2010):
U love who he use to be! It sucks but alcohol destroys so many relationships and u deserve more ...ive been thru it i would allow my EX get drunk and slam me into things or grab my arm till it bruised,yet i stayed because i thought if he would stop drinking he would be his self again and it took me about 6months to realize it and i left him ....IT MAY SEEM HARD BUT DELETE ALL CONTACT INFO FROM UR CELL AND COMPUTER AND LET HIM GO UR BETTER THAN THIS!
A
male
reader, Flyguymyeye +, writes (26 May 2010):
You need to block his facebook, delete his number and throw anything away that reminds you of him. Ignore all his emails and calls.
No contact and no information on him will help. It will hurt and take time but it's the only way to get over him.
Contact, checking up on him and thinking about him will damage your progress in getting over him.
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