A
female
age
41-50,
*oetoby
writes:I have been married for 13 years and have two children. In the last four years my husband and I have grown apart. We don't spend much time together. Recently I started an affair with my boss at work. We have only had sex once, but it was so nice. I don't know what to do because he knows that sex is all I want and that he can see other people. But at the same time I think I am jealous of his friends for getting to spend time with him and he doesn't seem to have that much time for me. And to make it even more confusing, my husband knows that I am in this relationship with another man. I wasn't going to tell him, but he got it out of me. He isn't mad. He knew it was coming - just a matter of time. To add to the drama, my best friends hubby has been making moves on me. Last night I went over to their house and he was the only one home. He was very drunk and doesn't remember much from last night, but I do! He was all over me - kissing, feeling, etc. No we didn't have sex because I knew he would never forgive himself. Just in case there isn't enough drama in my story, I have been diagnosed with "major manic depression". And yes I have been on medication for the last 16 years. Right now in my life I am in a "manic" state and want all the sex and crave attention! My husband knows and has delt with this before, but I have never been this bad. In the past I have been able to control it. I guess the main questions is what do I do next?
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affair, at work, best friend, drunk, jealous, kissing, my boss Reply to this Question
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female
reader, moetoby +, writes (3 December 2010):
moetoby is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUntil this time I have been able to control my manic stages. I think it is an excuse to do somethings that I have wanted to for a long time. Right now I am taking Effexor 75. My next step is Lithium. In which case neither my husband or I want to do. I think I just wanted different. Thank you for your answers they made me think. I can't say I know what is next - will have to wait and see!
A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (3 December 2010):
it sounds like you are a good girl
who'd her cercumistances put her in this strange situation
i say keep seing your psycharist and ask him/her
about the best solution to deal with your issues
but please keep your best friend away from you
because appraching him again may destroy another marriage
best wished for you and good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): What medications are you taking, list them here, are you sure your meds aren't causing this (some of them can cause this type of exacerbation).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): You have to go seek further treatment, surely you must have been taught coping mechanisms for your manic states before. If not then you need to.
This is brought on by your mental state but frankly and I don't mean to be rude but it's not at all fair on your husband and yes it is wrong of you to do this.
If you were able to control it then you have to control it now, have to! If you can't do it alone then go seek help, but seriously you've been this way 16 years, you know what it is, your mental illness might be the cause but it's not even close to an excuse. Really control yourself, just because your husband has dealt with this before doesn't mean it's okay to do it again.
And for god's sake if you see a situation like the ones you've described begin to develop or you're in a place alone with one of these guys then make your excuses and leave. This can't make you feel good giving into your compulsions like this so you have to stay away from situations where temptation might get the better of you. You might be acutely bipolar but that doesn't make you stupid. Stop it before it even develops.
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