A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We have a healthy and supportive relationship. We don't really fight much. I've helped him through his academy. He's helped me through school for the past year. When the program for school starts, the plan is for us to move in together (his idea) since the program is where he lives and I live about 90 mins away. He wants to buy a house for us to live in and to get more money back from taxes. Recently his world started to crumble around him. His health (diabetes) is not so well since he hasn't been to the doctor's in 2 years.He's working so much overtime to save money for the house. He found out his dad is dying in a couple months (parents live 6 hours away). His mom is planning on moving to where he lives when his dad passes. He is the eldest child so he will have to help take care of his family when his mom moves back. He told me 3 weeks ago that he needed time away from me. He said he doesn't know when he'll be well, but knows he will feel better by the end of the year. He says it's not about me, he just can't handle all of the stress of life right now. He said he doesn't want us to break up, he just needs some time to cope. He told me to go through with plans pertaining to school because we will be together again. I'm close to his family. I never ask but they tell me things. He took a vacation and spent the week with his dad and his cousins tell me they see him out with the boys. His brother told me that my boyfriend said he doesn't want to go out with another girl for the rest of his life but can't handle all the stress. He told his mom I'm an amazing girl but having a girlfriend is too much stress for him right now. I've given him time. I called him for the first time after 3 weeks. He didn't pick up but he did text me right back and said he was out with his friends and couldn't talk at that moment which is normal for us because I try not to call him when he's out. I love him very much and I don't want to mess this up. I know he loves me I just don't like not hearing from him for this long. What should I do? When should I call again? How can I be more supportive? Help! Thanks!
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female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (15 September 2008):
 If you love him like you say you do, you have no choice but respect his wishes, step back and give him space to get his life back together. You might think that this distant is going to tear both of you apart but the truth is it could bring both of you closer together. The time apart will make him miss you and realize what a great girl you are. But you can not text or call him. NO matter how hard this is. You might not like hearing from him, but this is not about you right now. This is the way you can support him.
In the mean time, keep yourself busy by doing things that you enjoy without him. Live your life and when he's ready to return to you. He will.
But if you keep calling and not give him space then he will resent you for not understanding his situation.
That's why they say, if you love someone, you set them free and if it they return it's meant to be.
If you don't want to wait for him, then the other option is breaking up and moving on, but by doing this, you will lose him forever.
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