A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm feeling really conflicted about whether to have a baby now or to wait. I'm going to be 26 this year, and my husband will be 27. I went back to school for nursing and will be done in about 4 months. One part of me wants to wait and get settled with work, but I feel as though if I do start working I won't get a chance to have a baby for probably 2-3 years, simply because of the time I'll take to get oriented/trained plus continue working for a while after that. The other part of me is getting really impatient and feels like if I could have a baby now, then my husband could take parental leave and I could start working then. And then maybe in 2, 3, 4 years we could have our second. I don't want to wait too long to have children, would rather be a little younger and have more energy. But with all the hormones and emotions raging, I'm confused over what I should do. I've talked to my husband about it, and he will support whatever I want. He says that he can support us and a baby, and not to worry about that. Would really love to hear from some women that had a baby earlier and hear how they balanced that with establishing their career. Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (26 March 2012):
 Getting pregnant whilst you are still at school is a bad idea, even if it is just 4 months left - imagine if you got pregnant immediately, then you would end up with 3 months of morning sickness, tiredness and all the joys of early pregancy to deal with whilst you are trying to study and do your final exams. Not the best scenario!
I think your best bet would be to finish school, then start trying for a baby. As worldlywise said, with a nursing qualification you should always be able to find work relatively easily, so maybe get pregnant, have the baby and then go and work once you feel ready to. As long as you have the qualification, and your husband can afford to support you whilst you are not working, then you should be fine.
I personally dont like the idea of getting a job for a couple of months and then getting pregnant, it isnt really fair on your employers as they are taking you on in good faith that you are able to do the job. And when you get pregnant 9 times out of 10 the woman suffers during pregnancy from some symptoms, so you are basically screwing your employers over as you wont be able to do your job properly whilst pregnant, and then you will be off for months/years once the baby is born.
So in my opinion, you simply shouldnt get a job once you finish school and get pregnant in this time, then you can focus on work again once the baby is born and you are ready to go back to work.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012): When it comes to babies they more often than not just 'happen' and the choice is out of our hands. I had 2 very young, my career went by the wayside, I stopped work and didnt go back properly for 5 years.
Then I divorced and eventually met someone and had 2 more. When I had the 2nd 2 I worked nights and was in College in the day. Leading to a good job.If you have a good marriage and supportive husband it helps alot.
Gaining a nursing qualification means you will always find work, you can have a baby and work part-time to you keep up your experience ready for when you want to go back full-time.One of my relatives did that,she worked 2 nights a week and when the children were old enough she hadn't lost touch with nursing and was able to increase her hours steadily.
If your husband can support you, you can give up totally when your pregnant and go back eventually. It depends on whats most important and if you want to be a full-time mum for years.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012): I'm a nurse, 29 and in a similar situation. I've been an RN since I graduated university 8 years ago. Since I have the work experience,I feel comfy leaving nursing to have children and eventually come back to nursing ad a PhD. For me, at this point kids are more important. However, if I were in your situation I would wait till you graduate and have the first six months of orientation under your belt before trying. Why?? Hospitals are less likely to hire you if you are already pregnant, in this economy jobs for new graduate nurses are scarce (you'll need to focus on finding work), and there is nothing as stressful as your first year in nursing (lots to learn, lots of pressures and hard Physical work). So wait till you get your first six months on the job done before trying. Also, you will not be eligible for federal maternity leave at work until you work 1 year full time (or 1200 hour... Something like that) for your employer.
When I was a new graduate the floor I was hired on was staffed by many new graduates. Everyone waited 6monthto 1.5years and then suddenly there was a baby boom. It just seems to be the smartest way to do things. It'll be so difficult looking for work, getting hired, getting oriented(maybe on less popular night shifts) while being pregnant and THEN not even being eligible for paid maternity leave after.
Honestly if you have to have a baby right now perhaps an on not working at all- continue towards your masters/ nurse practitioner part time while having a baby or two. That's what I would do jn your position... Except I'll be doing my Phd while having babies.
Good luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012): I'm a nurse, 29 and in a similar situation. I've been an RN since I graduated university 8 years ago. Since I have the work experience,I feel comfy leaving nursing to have children and eventually come back to nursing ad a PhD. For me, at this point kids are more important. However, if I were in your situation I would wait till you graduate and have the first six months of orientation under your belt before trying. Why?? Hospitals are less likely to hire you if you are already pregnant, in this economy jobs for new graduate nurses are scarce (you'll need to focus on finding work), and there is nothing as stressful as your first year in nursing (lots to learn, lots of pressures and hard Physical work). So wait till you get your first six months on the job done before trying. Also, you will not be eligible for federal maternity leave at work until you work 1 year full time (or 1200 hour... Something like that) for your employer.
When I was a new graduate the floor I was hired on was staffed by many new graduates. Everyone waited 6monthto 1.5years and then suddenly there was a baby boom. It just seems to be the smartest way to do things. It'll be so difficult looking for work, getting hired, getting oriented(maybe on less popular night shifts) while being pregnant and THEN not even being eligible for paid maternity leave after.
Honestly if you have to have a baby right now perhaps an on not working at all- continue towards your masters/ nurse practitioner part time while having a baby or two. That's what I would do jn your position... Except I'll be doing my Phd while having babies.
Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Deagan  +, writes (26 March 2012):
 You're finishing school in 4 months, you don't need 2-3 years to get orientated/trained and comfortable with your new career.
Hypothetical scenario here:
Finish school in August, work a few months, and then start trying for a baby late 2012 or early 2013.
You and your husband are financially stable and are happy. So why not try for a baby when you've been working as a nurse for several months. If you keep postponing it, things can happen in life, and you might not get your chance.
Give it a shot.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012): I am in a similar position with my fiance right now. We will be getting married this summer and I know that she would prefer to have our first child sooner rather than later. I am 25 and she is 24. She has been in the work force now for a couple of years, whereas I am just finishing up law school. For us, our primary concern is for me to get established in my new legal job before starting a family. During that time, it is also our goal to set ourselves up financially for raising a family as well. Thus, we will be waiting about 2.5-3 years, putting me at 27-28 and her at 26-27. Our situation may be a little different, however, as she will be staying home with our children when they are born. Frankly, I think it comes down to your career goals for what you decide. If you plan on going back to work after you give birth, it will probably be easier to already have a good job secured. If you don't plan on going back to work, it may not matter, unless of course your goal is to set your family up well from a financial standpoint.
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