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age
30-35,
writes: Have you ever loved someone so much, that you could never be with them, but couldn't be without them? It's one of the most heart-breaking feelings in the entire world...Right now, I'm feeling just like that. I'm in a 'kind of' relationship with an amazing guy. Sometimes, I look at him, and I just see the love in his eyes. I see how incredible he really is, I see the guy I fell in love with over a year ago. But when we argue... I see the swearing, hurtful side of him... What do you think is the most important side here? I'm stuck between knowing whether it's best to stick together through the arguments and the hard times, just for the good, or does the bad times over power the good times? Nobody in this world seems to have the answer - this is the case with war. It's a constant battle, one side fighting for good reasons and one side for not so good reasons. It's a hard thing to deal with. Any opinions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): Hunny you fight for what you belive in, Arguments are about peoples emotions at that time. And if you are feeling down and your fella is feeling down sometimes it can all come out in the wrong way and the wrong words are said as the other person is hurting...To hurt another only hurts yourself so its a catch 22 situation, The older you get the more understanding to another persons feeling you get as you realise what has hurt you in the past so therefor you wont repeat that as you understand the pain it can cause, And thats life sweetpea learning expriences and you for one are a bright young woman who has a wonderfull life ahead as your so understanding and so very caring..I hope everything works out for you hun with all the love and prayers in the world mandy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): if this relationship is making you ill, stressed, nervous, or causing low self esteem to you over a period of time then i think you have your answer.if these arguments are silly and caused by a simple lack of communication or immature jealousy then maybe, maybe you can sit down and decide, hey, this sucks, let's avoid this kind of argument again and work out how, together.have a balance in your lives and other interests. dont sign away your identity and time exclusively to him or he to you, and have some fun!!! all this intensity can be too intoxicating and take the joy from just hanging out together...good luck...!
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reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (28 February 2008):
 Thing is it's never a case of one side fighting for the good and one side fighting for the bad. Both sides are fighting for what they believe is the good for their cause.
During the days of the Roman empire the Romans were thought of as the "bad" when conquering other countries by those countries. The Romans of course believe they were doing it for the good of Rome.
With relationships there are alwasy going to be times where you argue and see each others bad side. I suppose the question is how often is it?
I think part of a relationship is being able to be open. Of course you're going to see the bad sides as well as the good. Afterall, we're all human and we all have our moments and flaws. If the bad times overpower the good times, and there's no possibility of resolution from both sides, then that would be the time to end the relationship.
Of course, if we're talking of abuse; be it mental, emotional or physical then there is certainly no resolution other than to get out as quickly as possible. Easier said than done granted.
It depends on how much you two want to be together. Just by posing this question would suggest to me you're at that point where you're unsure of whether you want to stay with him and this is something only you can decide I'm afraid.
I don't want to sound condescending or patronising in anyway, so please don't take it that way, but if anyone thinks life is going to be easy they are very much mistaken. Relationships are NEVER plain sailing... There will be times where you can't stand each other and row, on the flip side there will be times where you are so close it's amazing and get that feeling of perfect harmony.
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