A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Am I over reacting by feeling uneasy about my partners chatroom activities. I am never told, I have always found out by accident or phone numbers clumsily left out. This has been going on for almost two years. I am always told that these names are either her cousin or she has no idea and I`m paranoid or immature, saying that I should trust her. Now I have found out she's been lying again and making contact with someone again. We have broke up several times over this. She takes our break up very bad, then when back together she starts doing it again. I love her and I know she loves me, but why does it keep happening? If it's all innocent then why hide it and lie? She swears she is fullfilled and I know these texts and pm`s have been sexual. I am on the verge of ending us once and for all. Any advice or people with experience of this? If I am wrong I need to know.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008): Whatever she says about loving you,as you have found out,she's a liar. She's obviously comfortable with you but its anything but love. She has got away it for so long that its unlikely to stop. Either get out or face uncertainty for the rest of your life. I wouldnt be suprised if she's met them behind your back and enjoys the excitement of cheating.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): my partner also did this to me each time i left for work he logged on when i went in the bath he logged on and had his fone on silent throughout our entire relationship, we met in a chat room so i know only too well how easy it is to get drawn in, all talk in chat rooms is full of sexual innuendo, the pc is a very powerful tool and highly addictive, i also feel its a way to avoid real relationships in favour of virtual ones where we can pretend to be anything we want to be. the pc ultimately ended my relationship when i discoved my ex had been meeting the women he was chatting to. 2 choices either get rid of the internet or get rid of her. she is selfishly fulfilling her own needs with no thought for how insecure it is making u feel, allthe best i hope you make the right choice and things work out well for u :-) x
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (26 February 2008):
 if there are sexual innuendo's etc involved in these messages, then there is no excuse - in my opinion something like that is considered cheating. she is going somewhere else to fulfill her wants and if its not you then there is something wrong. she says she'll stop but she doesnt - wat more do you need? she is lying to you and going behind your back so you should break up with her. she is enjoying the best of both worlds and she cant when she is in a 'committed' relationship. talk to her and tell her how she is making you feel, but to be honest i think you should leave her, she has had so many chance and nothing has changed.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): if she is promising to quit and then doesn't, if she is lying and covering up, if she loves you but can't quit, then she probably is addicted. This could escalate into acting out and wanting to meet someone. You can get support and help for you at npsupport.netthis will ruin your relationship so don't take it lightly, best of luck to you
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A
female
reader, Lucy2118 +, writes (26 February 2008):
 I think she's trying to get the best of both worlds, with you and whoever else she's talking to. The should be no reason for hiding things in a relationship at all and if it is innocent she should tell you the truth and stop lying to you. I think if you did break up with him it would upset you both but she's the one that's lying not you, you've done nothing wrong. Ashe's making you paranoid because this keeps happening, if you don't put a stop to this soon you'll feel like this everytime you have a future relationship. It's fair on you.Hope this helpsX
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