A
male
age
41-50,
*ames_501
writes: I did not lose my virginity til I was 32 - less than a year ago. I am quite attractive, funny, intelligent and love women although they never seem to give me a chance. I have had short sexual relations with two women - both of whom I unashamedly used to get over the virginity problem. Neither of who I was attracted to, and the sex was awful.My problem is I'm a bit shy but not excessively so and analyse everything I do with women, and think about women all the time 24/7. I don't have much difficulty attracting women I don't really fancy, but attracting those I do fancy is tough.I am conscious of my age and do want to have a family 1 day. Have you any advice as to how I approach finding a compatible long-term partner? And should, while I'm looking, indulge in building up my limited sexual experience with whoever really?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): Hey I am also shy. Only 23, but haven't dated much. Slowly I am realizing to myself, that maybe the time isn't just right. But definitely the last 4 years in University I haven't been very social attributes to it.
Do things you like, go where you want, and play with fate a bit. Just don't let fate leave you. You an me both have to find a way to break that shyness.
Remember most beautiful women know they are beautiful and always have guys hitting on them. They generally show less initiative towards a guy because they are so use to guys coming to them. I think you just need more self confidence and find ways to charm them. Of course I don't have much good advise for this.
A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (10 June 2008):
Well I suppose playing the field is one way of improving your sexual experience, but I doubt it will get you what you're looking for, a long term partner.
You have dealt with the virginity problem, but I think you are now dwelling on the fact that you do not have much experience, and you shouldn't really. If you should find someone special there's no saying they will be sexually experienced either so you learn together.
Do you have a good social life, go out with friends? You will need to get out there and be seen. Try not to place too much emphasis on how a lady looks, although you will need to be attracted, there are many lovely ladies out there that may not be drop dead gorgeous, but have good loving hearts and would treat you well, and maybe give you the kind of relationship you are looking for.
Good Luck and keep looking, she's out there somewhere!
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