A
female
age
51-59,
*emar
writes:My ex and I have been apart for over a month. I've tried the non contact rule and now that the 30 days has passed I've been contacting him about twice a week. (He answers when I call if he's unable he will call back.) Well he talks to me nice but sometimes he talks to me so cold and the conversations are very short. I still have his vehicle that he said I could continue to drive. Someone told him that I have another boyfriend but I don't. He told me that he is full of anger and rage because he is helping his brother-in-law who is dying of cancer and he says that bothers him, not to mention that his father's house recently burned down, as well as our breakup. I really want us to work but where and how do I start. I love him very much we were together for 6 years and the breakup was petty. He didn't like my girlfriend and that was an issue but I kept our relationships separate. He was also angry at me because when he had his kids every other weekend I didn't hang out with them because their moms called me all kinds of names, told me to stay from around their family, and I didn't want any unnecessary drama. I thought I was right by doing that but I guess I was wrong. Now it cost me the love of my life. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Memar +, writes (29 August 2016):
Memar is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSad to report that he told me that our chapter was closed in his book and he's moving on. That was such a devastating blow, nothing I saw coming. I'm in so much pain right now, but I have to pull it together. Thanks for the advice, I guess it was too late.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 August 2016):
 It sounded like you never wanted a break up and his reasons for a break up did not make sense. Whenever that happens, it means the relationship had run its course. No contact only works when people treat it as a period to cool down and reflect, or to work on issues of their own. It won't work if he really wants out. I think he bailed out of the relationship because he's emotionally exhausted because of family stresses and he has absolutely nothing to give to you. I don't think anyone told him you had a boyfriend, maybe your ex made this up, imagined it, and to closed the door forever. Family tragedy is supposed to bring couples closer. When people use family issues as one of the reasons to break up, they had already been looking for an out a while ago.
You did not do anything wrong. At least you tried. Now, the no contact rule is for you to move on and forget about him. If he misses you, he will contact you. The ball is on his court. Try 3 months later, if his response is still cold, then try 6 months. That's if you are adamant on getting back together. Maybe by the time you will have moved on already.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2016): I don't think you have cost yourself your love life at all!
Relationships are tricky and space makes the heart grow fonder, it sounds like he doesn't need a relationship and stress! He needs comfort and a shoulder to cry on so first of all, be that! He doesn't want to hear you moan on about how you wish you still had him, family comes first and his thoughts arnt on the relationship by the sounds of it.
As for people who are telling him you have already got a boyfriend just do the obvious thing and reassure him he's not that easy replaced!
I hope this helps or gives you some peace of mind :)
Goodluck and the best of wishes!!
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