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Have I wasted my life just waiting?

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Question - (24 August 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 August 2017)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi all. I'm 26 female, educated but unemployed. I'm in search of job since last 3 years but I haven't been successful in it yet. I live in small city and I have lots of issues with my mom who is single parent. All my friends in my city moved away from city by either after getting married or due to job. I feel so horrible and lonely many times. I never went to any night club, I never had a boyfriend, I wanted to earn money but failed. My life sucks. I feel I haven't enjoyed my life or I am not enjoying my life as I am not independent, I have no love life, no family life. Though I'm trying my hard for job but I'm stuck. I want to be financially independent. I want to stay away from my mother. Am I being away from society? I had a horrible thought that I have wasted all my years of enthusiasm by just waiting for a job and moving away and just waiting for a man.

What should I do? Whatever I'm feeling abt my life Is it true/??? Plz plz badly need help.

View related questions: money, never had a boyfriend

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (29 August 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntYou cannot change your past but you can make your future how ever you want it to be. Go look for a job and a flat and be more independent. Go out more and meet people your own age. Try and make new friends and meet new potential dates. Sitting around dwelling on wasted years is only going to make you feel worse, you are still young figure out what you want from life and try and achieve that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2017):

Don't give up!!! And don't be so hard on yourself. You're only 26!

Now, if you're anything like me, you have always felt either too late or too old. It's subjective and it's just one of your thoughts not "the truth".

First of all, at 26 you still have so many opportunities (even if you don't think that's the case). If you can't find paid work at the moment, volunteer. Make sure that you reach out to people, be visible. Chose an activity that will bring new people into your life.

If you have to get any job, just for the money, make sure that you're out in the open, so to speak. Let me explain. If you must chose between babysitting and bussing tables,I'd take the latter. Babysitting will rarely bring new contacts into your life.

If you have the means, learn a foreign language, work on your skills. Stay in touch with your friends and acquaintances. If you lost touch with some or most of them. It's no big deal, just reconnect. Meet new people.

It's OK not to have a complete plan. Don't let it stop you from being proactive.

If you look, you will find a solution.

Make small steps. Set realistic goals. Things will work out!

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (25 August 2017):

Denizen agony auntIt doesn't matter about the past. It is just that, past. You can however start changing things right now. Step outside your comfort zone. Take little risks. Don't take stupid risks but consider how bad could it be if you fail.

Often not so bad: a job in another town, or even another country. They are always looking for people to teach English as a foreign language. You seem to have the hang of English. Could you do that?

You could go to an outplacement company and ask for further career guidance to set you on the road to something you love. It would be an investment in your future. When you start to take control of your life things will begin to fall into place.

You can either swim to a goal or drift with the tide. The choice is yours but it is a choice you must make.

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