A
female
age
41-50,
*ngel delight
writes:Hello all I need some advice. I was seeing a man for 15 months when he ended it and told me that e cared for me but could not give me what I wanted. He told me that he wanted to stay friends. I have never stayed friends with and ex before and initially told him that it wasnt a very good idea. He would ask me for drinks telling me that he understood if I didnt want to go. I ended up going and we would meet up and do lots of other things together (no sex though!!) About two weeks after the break up he told me he missed me but nothing was said about us getting back together. A week later, feeling frustrated and confused I told him that I had been asked out on a date. I hadnt but I just wanted a reaction from him which I got. Since then he has been very distant with me. He texts me but only when i text him. His behaviour has confused and upset me so much that I have been putting pressure on him and losing my tempter with him and become verbally abusive towards him, which has caused us to argue almost weekly... All started by me. After thinking long and hard about the situation I have now seen the error of my ways. I e.mailed him apologising and telling him that I would not have a go at him anymore and wanted to stay friends. I asked him yesterday if he wanted to go for a drink after work and he replied saying that he would feel awkward just the two of us going and i would get upset and he didnt want to fall out again. He told me that he understood that i wanted to make things right but not at that time because he was still annoyed about when i last had a go at him 3 days ago. I replied to him by just saying hav a good night, as he went out with some friends instead of me. I cant help feeling that I have scared him away with my behaviour. What should I do now? Is he thinking about me? Or is this a way for him to get rid of me for good?!!! I just want our friendship to be fun again!!
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (18 July 2011):
 well i hope you stick to your guns then, unfortunately some 'lads' never ever grow up! i hope you are getting out and having some fun yourself and not just sitting around waiting for him to text you when he is at a loose end. fill you life with friends, make your own happiness and contentment coz when you hand this job over to someone else, there is always the possibility that they will disappoint you
x
A
female
reader, Angel delight +, writes (17 July 2011):
Angel delight is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanksIm getting to the point where im fed up of being there for him when he feels like contacting me.It turns out he wasnt texting me so much on friday night because he was having so much fun at a strip club! I was working yesterday and we had a text conversation then the last i heard from his was about 11 last night telling me that he'd been for a curry and was now "on it" Im getting quite bored of his behaviour now. Hes acting like a child and I feel that he knows im not up to much this weekend and he is trying to rub my nose in it and its the kind of lads mentality i really dont like. I text and think about him when im out with the girls having a good time. He texts me once or twice to tell me what a fantastic time he's having. I havent text him since last night and, im not sure ill be replying to him when he texts me again... which i know he will when he gets back and is bored!! Hopefully he'll realise one day what hes lost.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (16 July 2011):
to be honest it does sound like he just wants something casual with you and as he has known you for 15 months already i cannot imagine he is suddenly ever going to change has mind about you and want to get serious. keeping casual company with someone is fine as long as you are not being used and as long as you are not being led into believing the person's feelings are stronger for you than they really are. by the sounds of things though he is being honest about his intentions (or lack of) to you.
if however you are waiting for this to become real love, then i think you should give up and move on. see him if you want but don't be exclusive to him coz i am willing to bet that he is not exclusive to you
x
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A
female
reader, Angel delight +, writes (16 July 2011):
Angel delight is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, Ill try. Just find it really frustrating and im constantly wondering if he actually cares about me or just contacts me when he is bored, which he obviously isnt this weekend! When he does text me it is a one liner with no question about how i am, which makes it very hard for me to try and carry on the conversation. Im just feeling a bit used because i know that he will text when hes back and bored again!! I then start to wonder if he has someone else he his texting. I keep thinking about when we were seeing each other and he used to text/call me all the time!
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (16 July 2011):
when you say you have 'hardly' heard from him, that means you HAVE heard from him though? its only natural that he is not gonna be as attentive as usual while he is on a stag weekend. i bet none of the lads are bothering to contact their wives and girl friends much. chill out, be nice when he gets back and then see what happens
x
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A
female
reader, Angel delight +, writes (15 July 2011):
Angel delight is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice guys. I left it for him to get in touch with me and less than 24hrs later he did. He now contacts me every day without fail. I usually let him contact me first. We have been out for a drink or pizza a few times and he seems to be warming back up. He told me last week when we met how nice i looked and he even noticed id had a hair cut!! I met up with him yesterday and I got the feeling that when he had to leave he didnt want to. He gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek too!My only fear now is that hes gone on a stag weekend today and ive hardly heard from him?!!! Has he met someone else? or is it because hes with the lads and cant text/call?
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A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (1 July 2011):
it sounds to me he is the type of person that doesnt want you but doesnt want anyone else to have you either you don,t deserve to be treated like this you deserve much better i would also stop texting him see if you hear from him if not then leave it at that good luck
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