A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:my husband and another couple had been going out for about a year on a weekend after us having got back together after separating for a couple of year before that, then a third couple were introduced to us who we got on well with and who joined the four of us at weekends and for a couple of breaks away to celebrate birthdays, which we all enjoyed and had a great time. As time went on the third couples wife and my hubby were the only two that smoked and would go outside together and it seemed they spent more time outside than necessary for the time it takes to smoke a cigarette or even two which i noticed on the second break away. nothing was said though and this continued each time we went out, by which time i was getting concerned and her hubby was, though he did not say any thing, then one night, i don't know why but i felt something had happened when they had outside for a cigarette, as the next morning my hubby acted guilty and he went and bought me flowers for my getting back from work. i don't think or know that it could have been more than a kiss but not sure and didn't want to think the worst or look paranoid. however the partner of my friend in the first couple rang me through the week and asked were we going out to see a band with them, i said i'd let him know, in a strange and quiet kind of voice he said well sue and john are coming mind and i said yes they had mentioned it the week before. that night was strange my hubby was clearly nervous about going but said nothing, and when our friend picked them up in the car she got in the back and cuddled up to him more than a friend should have, but even then i laughed it off though she had had a drink, which i think was to take her nerves away. later that night when they went out for a cigarette the partner off my friend said to them mind no necking on tonight, wether it was a joke or what it made me think all the more and she asked me about the state of my marriage which i said hadnt been easy the last few year but was ok now and my husband told me he loved me each day, which he did. we have still continued to go out as six and i have noticed that not just myself was getting more concerned about the so called long cigarette breaks and looks were being passed between her hubby and my other friends partner. i have since made a myself look a fool by letting them see i was upset and feel that i have been made a scapegoat maybe for even thinking it, though no one else would voice what i thought, which was there was a definite growing attraction between them and now feel that because of that we should or can not no longer carry on going in their company, though my hubby strongly denies that nothing has or ever would happen between them. i also feel like i have been going out of my mind and maybe my imagination was getting the better of me, then i think back to each time i felt it and probably know that theres been something going on even if it never got any further than an attraction between them, Help is it just me or not????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): you are not over reacting. you know something is up and you you are very justified in questioning this behaviour which seems kind of inappropriate. i suggest that you tell him that the group nights out is becoming more of a hinderance in your marriage and that if he wants this marriage to survive through this difficult patch then some changes have to be made. it means no party of 6 which in essence turns into a party for 2 only. i thinkt he others in the group have noticed the behaviour of your hubby and this other woman so you are not alone. and please do not go out of your mind thinking you are unjustified. i am gald your eyes were opened and you have had the convictions to voice your concerns.
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