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Have I made a huge mistake pushing things?

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Question - (15 June 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 June 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *oops writes:

I have been with my boyfriend on and off for 4 years, we have had our ups and downs and had a falling out after he nearly went astray with another woman. we got back together, and things have gone quickly back (feelings wise) to how they used to be. He suggested I move in with him in september and I got over excited and started planning everything, he gave me a key but the following evening made a big stand about the fact we needed to take it slow, I reacted to this and gave him the key back, which he didnt appreicate. Since then after explaining myself he has mentioned me moving in a few times, so today I took the bull by the horns and asked if we could do it sooner rather than later, we work well together, my family situation at home isnt brilliant, and he is struggling with bills and payments, I know he is the person I want, and he has made it very clear that he feels the same way. but i dont want to push him and make a mess of the relationship.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (15 June 2008):

I'd say you are doing it right, you have offered to give him space in the past and slow things down, now you are offereing to take things forward. You are hardly begging the guy for marriage and babies.

Chill out and tell him how you feel. Communication is the most important thing and if you tell him you are not sure how not to mess it up. I'm sure he will appreciate the fact you are trying to get things right.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, scrazy Canada +, writes (15 June 2008):

scrazy agony auntSo wait - I'm confused.

He wants you to move in...but he always wants to take things slow?

I'm sorry I don't understand how moving in is taking things slow, especially because he was the one who suggested it.

But I guess if he feels the same way as you, then maybe he DOES need a little push to get things going. It doesn't seem to me like hes going to do anything about what you two have discussed.

Maybe you two need to talk it out a bit more and figure out if he really DOES want you to move in with him - or if he's just saying it?

But for the record, you didn't make a huge mistake.

xo

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