A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,- sorry for rambling on a bit but this is really badly playing on my mind. A few months ago I wrote this question http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-best-friend-has-changed-for-the-worse.htmlI just don’t understand why I can’t get over the fact I’ve pretty much nearly lost her friendship. Something I’ve learnt while being with my boyfriend is if something about him bothers me or upsets me then let him know. I wish she would have told me if I upset her. Ever since this has happened, I feel as if I’ve changed. I find it hard to open up to people now, and even though I want friends, I seem reluctant to make effort like talking more. It almost feels like I don’t want to let anyone else in. This just hurts me so badly. All my life until then, I’d never had any major friendship problems. And now I’m older than I was at 13 it’s getting harder to meet new people to make solid friendships with. In November I’m going to graduate and I probably won’t keep in contact with many people on my uni course, as I don’t feel a bond with them. I’ve lost the bonds I had with my 2 female housemates as they became really really close and stopped including me, and now instead of seeing them as close friends I seem them now more as acquaintances. I don’t feel happy when I’m with them. Part of me (slowly getting bigger) wants to talk to her, but another part of me says it’s not worth it and that it would be pointless and she may not respond (we’ve not contacted each other since December). And in her last message said this “…you hadn't hardly changed or moved on… It made me realise how I’m different as a person now” I don’t like the way she’s changed now she’s with her boyfriend, but we could still have good conversations and spending time together. I just really really really miss her and kinda want her back in my life. I guess I also just really hate change and hold onto memories too much…. It’s just so hard to let go. Should I message her, or not? And if so what should I say? I think deep down though, I know what the majority of answers would be...Thank you for reading Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 March 2014):
I don't think this so called 'friend' is a friend at all. I think that she was quite cruel to you, and your housemates weren't all that great either. If I were you, I'd drop this lot and start over by making new friends. As painful as it is, sometimes it's best to just accept that what you had before has changed and can't be the same again. It's best to start over, get to know new people and let those who have let you down go.
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