A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a single female friend at work who is quite a bit younger than me, but whom I get on really well with - in fact she is the nearest individual to me I have ever met. I have known her for over 10 years.I think she has always looked up to me and recently has sought advice as she has been uphappy at work. However, on a recent lunch date, I opened up to her and admitted serious problems with my marriage, mainly due to the fact I feel very comfortable to her and I fel the need to talk.Now she seems very cold towards me, and I don't blame her for dumping that onto her. I don't have many friends, but she really is the lovliest girl you could ever wish to meet. I am now feeling so very low and can hardly bear to go to work as I see her every day. Is there any chance things can return to like they were before, or have I lost such a good friend for ever?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): Thank you both for your answers....especially from a female viewpoint.
I did in fact apologise earlier this week even before I read your replies, for heaping so much of my personal woes upon her.
I would never wish her to be a mistress..she is far too precious to be that, and I would never contemplate an affair, even though my marriage has been platonic for about 7 years...and yes I admit "I love her", this has occurred over the past 12 months, I didn't plan it, but it has and my feelings for her are something that I have never experienced ever in my life, not thought I ever would....and I think about her all the time...and to be honest it hurts....but thank you both again....I am apalled at what she must have thought of me
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (20 April 2010):
 Hun, she probably thinks that you were doing the whole 'my wife doesnt love me, we are roommates, my wife doesnt understand me' story... you know the one... when a man wants to have an affair these wonderfully inventive stories are told to prospective mistresses???Well, maybe she has been hurt like that once before or had someone close to her hurt that way.... All I can say to you is, if you have a problem at home, then go home and try and solve it. If you need to talk to someone, go to a trained professional counsellor!I think that you need to apologise to this woman, tell her you were very out of line in discussing your marriage and that wont do that again. Let us know how it goes.Honeygirl
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010): Maybe she is worried you were telling her because you might fancy her and hope to pursue an affair?
Who really knows! Best thing to do is to pull her aside and ask her if you have done something because it SEEMS as though she is avoiding you and what have you.
Apologize for what you THINK may be the cause of her new behavior towards you and hope that she responds with a justifiable reason.
You haven't lost a friend in her. But letting it get to your head without any clear answer you may end up being resentful, furthermore allow her to become resentful towards you. Just confront her. Rather know you destroyed a friendship while giving it every shot you had to salvage it. However, I highly doubt this is the case. She probably has been busy or is not sure how to react to your problems.
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