A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem. I like someone so much! I have done for 3 whole years, but I've been too shy to tell them. They were seeing someone a few years back and just yesterday..HE is seeing somone else. What do I do? I was going to say I like you but then he's got a girlfriend, before i thought he was bi, but i'm not sure anymore. I'd feel stupid telling him I like him and he is completley straight!I think I'm bisexual becuase I've had girlfriends and a few months back I was vertually drooling over a girl I liked, but I've always like this one guy. I've known him my whole life. I don't want to ruin my relationship with this person, since he values me as his best friend, and as do i to him, we have since we were 3 years old! Please I need help, how do I get over this thing I feel for him? Have I just turned gay? Should I tell him I like him? And if so how?Sorry for so many questions! :)
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male
reader, Merisier  +, writes (30 May 2008):
No need to say sorry bro. I don't think u should tell him cause that happen to me, after told someone that I grown up with last January till now I never heard from him again. I told him cause I thought he was a good friend and have an understanding well I was wrong. If you you don't want to lose your friend I like I lose mine don't tell him and again he might understand where you coming from you never know!
A
male
reader, JaimeB.  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 obviously u are gay, no question about that
before telling him u should know how he feels about gay people
try bringing it up lik: omg i just saw 2 men kissing on the street, then see what happens
if he is lik eowwww how gross then u will suffer!
but if he gets all embarrased he tells u how normal or he doesnt nswer then i think that might b the rite time to tell him
bcause u 2 r best friends i dont think hell stop being ur friend if he doesnt lik u back
n if he does stop being ur friend then he wasnt a good friend after all!
REMEMBER: love is not easy and many times it hurts!
~love from spain!~
JAIMEB.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): you are obviously in a tricky dilema - loads of us have been there. what you may want to think about is how well your friend can take possibly shocking news. if you've known him for a long time, you will probably know how easily he breaks up a friendship, or how well he copes with the unexpected, maybe try explaining to him first how you don't want to hurt his feelings and that you aren't trying to make him gay!show how it is something that you have wanted to tell him for a long time and how much your friendship means...that sort of thing. not saying anything will be painful for you, and telling him in the way you think right may be for the better. x hv
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): You are still very young, your still trying to discover your sexuality and discover what and who you like. Who knows if your gay, bisexual or not. Unless you are practicing sex with both women and men, you will not know which one you prefer. All I can tell is that you can have feelings for both men and women. You say nothing about love so I don't know how strong these feelings are, but they appear to be sexual. You feel how you feel and nothing you are feeling is wrong, it's just the way you feel at the moment.
Love, sex and friendship are all close siblings, and can be easily confused. You like this guy and this is clear. What you choose to do is up to you. He could like, you he might even love you, you could love him back. It's obvious that you have strong feelings, but only by asking him can you know how he feels.
You have the added complication of him being your friend and you may feel you are betraying your freindship by feeling this way. If you tell him how you feel he could reject you, he could humilate you, he could show empathy and understand, he could feel the same way... Again who knows
This is no different from any other relationship. You like him, if you want to know if he likes you then ask him. But be aware, just like in any other relationship he may become angry and reject you. He has already has a girlfriend, in your situation, I would would do nothing until he is single and uninvolved and even then I would need to weigh up carefully how much our friendship meant to me before approaching him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): Well it sounds to me like your feelings for him are pretty strong, so getting over them will be hard, and only time will allow for that unfortunately.
And just because he has a girlfriend now doesn't mean that he's not bi - he could still like guys too!
I agree with PeterPan on this one, you can't just turn gay, it's got to be there in the beginning. Are there any other guys that you like? Because if it's just been him who you've liked then you might not even be bi, and just like him.
And to your other question, I think you should first see how he feels about people being gay, and just sort of slip in whether he's ever had feelings for another guy, and if he says no then you can just no too. But if he says yes then that's a good sign. So if while you're talking about this you feel that it's the right time to tell him then you should! Go with your gut instincts always!
Hope I've helped a little! Best of luck!
xx Hope xx
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (22 May 2008):
 First you... you can't "turn" gay. As I once told somebody else here, you either are or you aren't. But, like in that other case, you could be bisexual.
If I were in your shoes and we're talking about upsetting the delicate balance of a friendship over admitting an attraction for your best friend, I would advise that you tread lightly. Unless you are sure that he won't have a homophobic reaction to you admittance, I would advise keeping your attraction to yourself...
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