A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last week wednesday I went on a night out with my friends from university. We ran into another group from our college at the club and got chatting to them and to cut to the chase, being very drunk I ended up getting then going home with one of the girls - I was extremely drunk, and I felt really bad about it in the aftermath. Earlier on I met another girl off my course on the night out and got talking to her and although she went home for reading week we have got talking and found that we have quite a lot in common and I have a view to asking her out when she gets back to University. However, she knows the girl I got with and brought it up in one of our conversations saying that I (paraphrasing) 'probably loved the nightclub due to my cheeky pull'. Although these first few weeks in University have been something of a pull-fest and most people have ended up getting with someone I am worried that my actions have made me look like a bad person and jeopardized my chances with a really amazing personWhat do you think Dear Cupid users !?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers, I suppose many of my fears proved rather irrelevant - I definitely do have to exercise a greater level of self control though. At the moment it's reading week and we are only just talking via facebook at the moment - if and when I ask her out, it will be on a casual/non-dating basis at first and most definitely after reading week!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 November 2011):
 Well, I think if you can't control what head to "think" with when drunk, slow down on the drinks.
Now if she still talks to you - the girl you like, I wouldn't fret too much, just don't "pull" another bad stunt any time soon.
You are young, you are bound to do some "dumb" things (we ALL have) so jsut learn from it and don't do it again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): I think it is a good sign that you are still in contact with this girl and that she even made a joke about it. It doesn't sound like she is necessarily judging you for it and she is even still talking to you, getting to know you. So you have a chance here to show her what you are all about. May even lead to something more if you play your cards right. Maybe down the road, when the time is right, you can explain to her how you feel about the situation.
But I have a feeling she probably knows you have interest in her and perhaps she may even feel the same. So keep doing what you are doing and there is a good chance thing's will turn in your favor. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): Yeah, you might have jeopardized your chances...she obviously noticed and it made an impression, BUT then again she brought it up and that counts for something. If she was indifferent or not at all interested in you she wouldn't have brought it up in the first place. And from what I can see her impression isn't definitively bad...to me it sounds like she just thinks you might be a bit of a playboy.
I agree with xlaurenx, let some time pass; let a couple months go by before you ask her out. If you can find a way to spend time with her one on one and you let her get to know you better you might be able replace that initial impression and improve your chances.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 Your actions probably wont matter too much, if you play your cards right. If you start to brag about how many women you can pull and act like a player, then yes, chances are lost. But, if brush it under the carpet as something you did that wasn't worth mentioning, and keep it private, don't give out any information about it, don't gossip about it etc, then it probably wont matter.
She just knows the girl, they aren't sisters or best mates. It doesn't matter. And while you are single you are free to have one night stands, so nothing to be ashamed of. Just make sure she understands, by your actions, that you aren't just looking for sex from her. Take her out on dates and don't have sex with her until you are in an official relationship, and she will feel respected. She's just testing the grounds to see if you are a heartless, sex-consumed player, or a decent guy. The ball is in your court.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): I think perhaps let some time pass between what has happened and trying to take things further with the other girl. Show her that you aren't really like that by not going home with anyone else! It'll give you time to form a better friendship and show her your true self. As long as this other girl you went home with isn't one of her best friends then I can't see that with a little time she won't be able to go out with you.
If they are pretty close then you can understand it would be weird for her to date someone that her close friend has had a liason with!
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): Well, you are single so you didn't cheat on anybody, so from that angle you are not a bad person. However, your actions tell a lot about your moral values and if she is like me she would never get involved with a guy who thinks it is ok to get so drank that you end up having casual sex with a stranger.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): I think you're reading to much into it. You got drunk and slept with someone.. trying to find a guy who hasn't done that at one point in his life is damn hard. Don't worry about it, you didn't cheat on this girl, and aslong as you treat her the right way from now on, your chances are just as good as before. Good Luck!! :D x
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