A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I am new here....and so confused....So here's my situation...I married my childhood sweetheart after 20 years. It was a horrible disaster..long story. It ended badly, I totally lost myself in him, he was my every breath, and I thought of him every waking moment. I anticipated his every need. He tried to tell me I was loving him to death. OMG I thought this was the most ridiculous thing I had EVER heard.Fast forward, it's been 2 years since the divorce. I found myself. I am not the big cry baby I was when we were together. I am not emotional, I don't let people get to me. I don't get too attached. And I pretty much say what I think when I think it. So I meet this man, he's a little younger. He is wonderful to me, to my children. He has NEVER done one thing wrong. BUT.....he pushed me into getting married after only being together for two months. I know I should have waited. BUT it seemed like the best thing for me and my family. Problem is.....NOW I KNOW WHAT MY EX MEANT BY I WAS LOVING HIM TO DEATH!!It's like I am having an out of body experience...it's like my husband is me, and I am my ex and I find myself feeling the same way he did. I am a firm believer in KARMA and honey it's has gotten ahold of me in a MAJOR way.Found out a few weeks ago, my ex is sick. He's just about blind, and my god I want to take care of him. We actually respect each other now, we can carry on a decent conversation, and all the fire works are still there.Now what do I do about my husband....I love him, but he even knows I will NEVER love anyone like I did my ex, nor will I ever give my heart away like I did for him. I told him this from day 1!!!So go ahead be brutal if you must it's wrong wrong wrong. The bad part is I feel bad for wanting to be with my ex, but I don't feel guilty because there is this huge hole in my heart for him.Tell me how do I deal with all this, or have I just got myself into something that's gonna disasterous!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): Thanks ladies and your right it is better to be with someone who loves you than someone you love SOMETIMES!! I do love my husband, but it's more of a best friend kinda thing which is good. BUT my heart so belongs to my ex. It's always been this way...before we were ever married...I would have vivid dreams about him, always the same dream...with a couple days I would see him somewhere in town. He always appeared somehow out of no where.
It's an honestly strange connection. I weird bond that I thought was gone, but lasted 28 years. But it's not gone--far from it.
It's killing me being with one man, and my heart belonging soley to another. I have NEVER cheated on anyone, I don't plan too....but I feel like my heart is torn into.
Thank you ladies for all your kind words and encouragement. This is an impossible situation and I thought I had learned enough life lessons to never let this happen to me again...Obviously NOT!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): Love is not always a feeling...its a choice.
Your first love will always be closer no matter what life brings. But now that you moved on and you have a man that loves you, even to death, honey you are so blessed!
Don't take it for granted, cherish every moment and don't lose him. I agree with the 1st reply, visit your ex...if he really loved you, he would never let you go. So you should focus more on your current relationship.
Good luck and God Bless...
p.s.take a day off and go somewhere where you can think and evaluate everything...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): I am a strong believer in the following fact.Its better to be with someone who loves you than with someone who you love.Things are much happier that way.
I understand your ex is ill.If you are feeling sad about it visit him once in a while with the consent of your husband of course.your ex didn't value your love.Plain facts.Truth hurts.Now Karma is back.He is alone,he is almost blind.I feel sorry for him too.But you cannot go back to him.If you do that would be the most stupid decision you ever took in your life.
When someone loves us so much its very natural to feel scared.Your husband seems to be making you feel scared.I was young once.some one loved me as well.I was so scared by the feelings he evoked in me that I never gave him the time of my life.Do not act in haste and repent in leisure.
We are romantics.All the romantic novels make us believe that true love is there,our soul mate is waiting for us blah,blah.That is fiction.Reality is different.In real life if you find anyone who can accept us warts and all its a big deal.If you find a guy who can commit there's nothing like it.If someone loves you, angels are definitely smiling at you.your husband seems to be a great guy.If his only fault is loving you,what about other wives who put up with emotional,physical and sexual abuse?What about wives who get beaten up by drunk husbands?What about those wives who have to put up with another woman in their lives?
Come out of your dream and start living your life in reality.The past is where it belongs in the past.The present is a gift.Be thankful that you have a guy who loves you.Would you believe how many ladies are out there who don't have anyone to talk to?Their highlight of the day is probably some music that they hear on some stupid show.I hope you wake up and choose your husband.All the best.
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A
female
reader, xxhoplesslyhisxx +, writes (6 November 2008):
well i think u need to find closer with your ex. and decide wat you really want. wat would make you happier you should also keep in mind and also dont forget about your son his decision kind of counts too but utimately u need to be truthful with youself
let me know wat happens and wat u decide to do
good luck =)
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