A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I need help understanding myself. I am a man living in the US Who moved here about 4 years ago for work from tokyo after being there for 5 years and meeting a woman. In between jobs had a child with her and built her and my daughter a beautiful house and provided for her and my daughter along with my girlfriends extended family. We recently had another child and they still reside 10000 miles away where I physically see them all for a total of 2months a year. I know this sound horrible but I would have flings with random women to satisfy my needs. However last year in july I thought I was doing the same but we are now here in November over a year later and I still see her. We don't talk on the phone but do text once in a while during the week. Although I don't see her regularly and I am technically with the mother of my children I can't seem to recognize whether I just love having the sexual chemistry we have with one another or am I lying to myself and have fallen in love with her? I do make a lot of money but I'm still not the type to just get anyone anything. I've sent her away and bought her everything. She also does so many nice little things for me but I know I always tell her I keep her around just for the amazing sex. Could that be all or am I falling foR her?
View related questions:
money, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (18 November 2009):
 You're probably not feeling very connected to the mother of your children since you see them so infrequently. In such a situation, it would be easy for you to fall for--or think you've fallen for--a woman who you don't see regularly, but have more contact with than the woman you're committed to. Is there any particular reason why your girlfriend and children are not with you? How would you feel if your girlfriend was having flings to get her needs met?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): sorry just to be clear, I know I am love the mother of my children because she is the best mother but I think with the girl I am seeing in the US I am happier with her and realize she is smart, beautiful and we have amazing sex but for some reason i cannot let go as a 'girlfriend' the mother of my children
...............................
A
female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (18 November 2009):
 I doesn't sound like 'love' to me. You wouldn't be sleeping with other women if it was love. Obviously you love the mother of your children, but wouldn't say you're 'In Love' with her.
How does she react when you tell her you keep her around for 'amazing sex'? Hardly complimentary I have to say! Women usually want committment and don't just want to be a convenient sex toy...you'd have to ask yourself what you really want with this lady, and what you don't want.
Can you see yourself settling down with her and raising your children? If so, I'd do it. If not, I think it best you leave her alone (still see your kids of course) but let your lady get on with her own life.
A lot of men equate sex with love, but this doesn't necessarily mean that you feel real love for her.
...............................
|
