| A ,
anonymous
writes: I have been married for 3years and we have a daughter of 2yrs old.When we first met everything was great and we were like soulmates,but gradually as time went on I did let her down on many occasions,through drinkink too much or getting in trouble with the police and as a result of this we have split up on several occasions.I do admit that I have been at fault for a lot of our problems,I have accused her of seeing someone else on numerous occasions without any proof.I love her dearly and up until a month ago she said she loved me too,not as intense as in the beginning because of all my mess ups.But about a month ago we went out for a meal and had a few drinks then we had a blazing row and she said that that was it for good.Since then I have arranged counselling for my drinking problems and havent had a drink for 3 weeks and I have also found employment which was a problem before.We are talking now and I see her and my daughter about 3 times a week,she says for me to give her space which I understand she must have and to hold down a job and stick to the counselling and then see where we go from there.She has booked a holiday for july and asked me to go with her.I love her very much and can now see the error of my ways but just hope I havent done too much damage to the relationship already,I really want to know the best way to approach things without her feeling pressured and that I'm keeping on at her but for her to know I love and care for her and that is where I want to be and that I'm truly sorry for my behaviour in the past.Many thanks.. T.
View related questions:
soulmate, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2005): HI T,You know the old saying that you dont know what you have until its gone, well aint that the truth, Eh?By your own admission, you realise that this lady has put up with an awful lot from you, i think maybe you are lucky that it has lasted this long. We do tend to take advantage of those people who are closest to us and hurt them with out intending to. Perhaps you should look in to why you felt the need to behave in this way in the 1st place??There must have been a reason. You have securtiy issues, or else why would you accuse her of cheating on you?? I think maybe because you knew how much your behaviour was hurting her and you were suprised yourself that she was still with you.This lady obviously has strong feelings for you, to put up with you for so long, so give her the space she needs. By getting the counselling and getting a job is letting her know that you are serious about starting over. When you have kept off the drink and held down a job for a good while, you will start to regain her trust. Not only does she have herself to think about, she has your daughter to consider, it cant have been good for her to be living like that either. Although im sure you realise that now.She has invited you to go on holiday with her, thats a positive start. When the opportunity arises tell her exactly how you are feeling, how you are prepared to continue with the counselling and job, and that you understand she needs to be completely sure of her feelings and trust in you and that you are prepared to be patient while she finds all that out for herself.It may take a few months, but it sounds like you have a good person there and this could be the last chance you have to get your family back together as it should be, so make the most of it.By the way a big pat on the back to you for getting yourself the help that you needed. Well done and keep it up.
|
