A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I don't know if this question is appropriate for this site, but I really need to talk to someone about this. Please help.I'm a 19 yr old girl addicted to pornography. I had never had sex (or anything sensual/intimate with anyone) until last month. When he touched me, I felt nothing too interesting. It felt like my own hands touching me. I was disappointed as this was my first time with a guy and I wasn't feeling even a little of the chemistry that is often portrayed to me through media/reading. He was extremely attractive, intellectually engaging and I was crazy about him. But nothing. The kissing was okay and the sex slightly painful. Nothing more than that.I enjoyed cuddling and talking with him much more than anything sexual.I didn't climax. I'm not talking about during sex (I know that's difficult), but during when he pleasured me with his fingers and mouth. That was the only highlight to my experience. It was the only time I actually found pleasure in what we were doing.The orgasm problem I do not understand as I have masturbated since 8/9. I had my first orgasm at 9/10 while looking at a tame picture of a naked man covering his lower half with a small pillow. Soon after (12+) I had a cellphone that allowed me to view explicit images/vids and access erotic stories online.Today, I still masturbate either through porn or erotic, explicit stories and can't without the aid. If I don't have that inspiration, I cannot bring myself to feel any sexual desire. I feel like everything goes back to my childhood. Am I so addicted to porn that I will never be able to feel aroused with men again? Yourbrainonporn.com was helpful but mainly addresses males, and I feel like my addiction may be doing even more damage to me as female's orgasms are already complex as it is. What are the steps that I should take? Should I cut out both porn AND masturbation? Try to masturbate using just my imagination (which is full of dirty, filthy)? Should I cut out the perverse, sexual stories I read? Is my sexual dysfunction a different problem entirely?Please help! I don't know what to do and I hate that I've ruined my sexual life at 19 already!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2014): Hey chillll! I'm 22 and kind of in a similar situation. When I'm on my own I can only cum when I watch porn, I find it way to time consuming trying to use my imagination. The difference is, Ive been in a 5 ur relationship so u can imagine how much sex that is. Basically, sex is WAY better than porn! Butu will only find that out after a bit of practice. I suggest...taking it slowly, try to get him to really explore your body and get in the mood. I f your mind sways, let out a groan to get you back on track. There is nothing wrong withacting out some of the things u have watched in your head. Major tip though... Try not to recreate the scenes u have seen in porn. It will probably freak the guy out a bit but u can maybe suggest doing some tame stuff. Just figure out what turns u on and you'll get there :) when I first started having sex I thought it was crap.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (26 October 2014):
 You're not ruined you're just used to one thing rather than the other. Relax! you'll be fine.
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