A
female
age
26-29,
*caredandworried
writes:When I was 17 I got pregnant and had my son, shortly after he was born my bf and I broke up. He isn't s bad guy we were both just young. My parents blamed him for me pregnancy because he was older they put more blame on him (he was 29 when I got pregnant). He has been around for my son but at the same time hasn't stepped up as much as he should have. Child support isn't paid on a regular basis and even though he is there for our son it's not on a daily basis. Thankfully my parents have been amazing they encouraged me to go to college, help finically and look after my son when needed. My ex and I get along fine and have been hanging out. We have been kinda hooking up and Im actually 6.5 months pregnant but I haven't told my parents yet. I only told my ex this last week. The first thing he said was "your parents are going to kill me", I'm really worried how they will react. I know they will be disappointed that I'm pregnant but even more so for the fact that my ex is the father. I'm nervous of being a mom of two kids. How do I tell them with out having them hate bothbme and my ex?
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female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (4 November 2016):
 Whats done is done. No point going there with should of ,could of ,would of. You cant make someone be a good parent so wasting too much time trying to get him on board seems moot. Of course they will be disappointed, and rightly so. Im a parent and not the slightest bit interested in words-what I want to see is action. My advice is to step up and do all that it takes to support yourself and children and show them that you can make a success of yourself and situation. It will be hard but it's doable. Hopefully in time that disappointment will turn into admiration for stepping up and taking good care of things.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 November 2016):
 Oh dear what a mess to get yourself in to. Did you not learn from the first pregnancy to be more careful? No point lying your parents are going to be upset and disappointed this has happened you again, especially with the same guy. He may not have knowing your age but he still should be there to look after his child, and also the second one on the way. I guess you just need to bite the bullet and tell your parents. They may not be as helpful second time around.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (4 November 2016):
 He should. You may have been too young to be a parent, but he wasn't. Don't make excuses for him.You, however, should have learnt from the first time and you haven't. Don't waste any more time - tell your parents today or tomorrow. Don't put it off because they need time to process their anger/disappointment.You need to act like a mother now. You're not just a single person who can keep doing irresponsible things. Stop hooking up, stop not using protection and start getting a job, behaving more like a parent and legally forcing your ex to take responsibility.
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A
female
reader, Scaredandworried +, writes (3 November 2016):
Scaredandworried is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you , I am very thankful for everything my parents did for me. In my exs defence he had no idea I was only 17. I went through a rebels stage with my parents and had a fake ID and met him at a bar that was for ages 21+, he was actually very upset when he found out my real age. I'm not making excuses for him, I know he should step up more
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (3 November 2016):
You can't. You need to be responsible because you haven't been, so far. A 29 year old shouldn't be with a 17 year old and both should know well enough to use protection - he was not young; he was reckless. Same this time round; you've both been reckless and not learnt from last time.
Honestly, I think your parents have enabled you by not making you take more responsibility for your actions and the ex hasn't had to step up more.
You can't put it off any more. They have you a second chance at life and now you need a third one. Be honest and get it over with. Get child support set up legally, don't let him back out any more. *Show* your parents you're going to do this yourself and make up for it.
Stop hooking up with a guy who isn't parenting your already existing child enough, use two forms of protection with everyone, in future, and I mean this in the nicest way possible: you need to get your life in order. You're a mother - you can't keep making decisions like this.
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