A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and a half and love him so much, but we do have our fair share of communication problems and recently he hasn't been spending much time with me. I've told him many times how I feel and he keeps saying he'll make more of an effort, but still there's been no improvement. Last year I met this guy who's just a friend, but in the last month we started talking everyday, like on MSN and through text. I've started to feel like I look forward to chatting to him and the other day, all I could think about was him. It got to the point where I imagined being with him. The thing is, I feel so bad about thinking about another guy. I do like him a little bit and I don't know if he feels the same way. I just don't know what to do...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2009): Hey, we've all been there! If your b/f just can't meet your need of attention, then you have to decide whether to stay with him. What is his explanation for spending less time with you? Work/study? A hobby? Relatives? What is it that is occupying his time instead of you?
Then you need to determine whether his explanation is legitimate, or is he just making excuses?
If he has valid reasons for the change in attention to you, then you have to decide: can you adapt to this new level of attention? Or not?
Because, if he can't/won't change to meet your needs, then you have to either change and learn to adapt (find a new hobby to occupy the time when he can't be there for you), or else you need to find someone who can meet your needs.
But, PLEASE, don't make things worse by picking up with this new guy before you work things out/or leave your current boyfriend! You have to remember that ALL relationships go through their ups and downs. And if you want your relationship to last, then you're going to have to develop coping mechanisms to help get you through the "down" periods. Jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend whenever things get tough is NOT going to make you happy!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2009): hi, this is just my opinion so please don't take it the wrong way!
I don't think you love your boyfriend enough for you to feel that way. Misunderstandings cannot be removed in any relationships but it doesn't mean that just because you're boyfriend cannot make it up to you just the way you want it then you can do what you did. Didn't you think it will be unfair for your boyfriend that you're thinking of another guy? Would you like it if he does that to you? Of course not! And it is unfair to him too that you're communicating with somebody else while you're together... and you're falling for that guy! And how well do you know this guy you're chatting with? Don't you think he's just fooling around? And when you give up the one you have now he will just be gone, then you have nothing! But of course it will be very unfair for both of you to live together if your sure that you doesn't love him anymore... My thing is, if you're contented on what you have now then just keep it and take good care of it and if not you have to let go though it hurts!
they said... you won't know til you try it!!!
I'm just giving you both sides! You should look at the consequences!
in the end it will still be your choice!
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