A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Please can somebody help me with this because I cannot get answers no matter where I turn. I am 48, not at all new to relationships. I was married at 17, and thought I had met every kind of personality, until I met my sweet angel now. I never felt settled or secure in any relationship until I met the man I am with (was with) now. The bond between us was so incredible. We couldn't even play a game at the casino if we weren't able to sit next to each other at the tables. In restaurants he would move the chair to sit beside me instead of opposite. We were so beautifully connected. All natural. Sometimes, for no reason, we would just look into each others eyes and cry - as if we'd finally "found home" after having such difficult lives. We truly believed that if twin-flames did exist we were undoubtedly that. We honestly couldn't bear to be apart. All we wanted was to be with each other and although our friends laughed at us, nothing could change the way we felt about each other.And then.... one day before my period, I had bad PMT and I started an argument and told him to leave and never come back. The truth was, when I get PMT, for some reason I become terribly insecure. I started to wonder how could someone so beautiful stay with me? So when I told him to get out, what I was really saying was "Please give me a hug and tell me you're for real". But of course... he didn't understand and he left.Although we got back together and the bond and the love are still the same, it seems that now, every few days, he goes back to his own place and sometimes stays there for 2 or 3 days at a time. He goes out drinking with his mates, sometimes staying out till 5am. Then after a few days, he comes back, everything's ok again, and then it happens again. Like 'single man mode' but without women. Just drink, mates and pool.The last time it happened, (3 weeks ago), I ran away. I couldn't take the pain anymore. I went to stay with friends 200 miles away. He got into a panic so badly over this that he was physically sick in work three times because he thought he'd lost me. He spent four hours on the phone in the middle of the night begging me to come back, begging me not to sleep with anyone, asking me if there were any men around me, telling me how stupid he was for pushing away the greatest thing in his life. Calling himself all the stupid names under the sun. He said he is ok for a few days but then is overwhelmed with the fear of losing me, so he runs back into 'single man mode' again.But this time, it looks like he's gone for good. For 2 weeks I haven't heard from him. No calls, no emails, nothing at all. The week before he left, he said I made him very angry for doubting his sincerity, but surely that anger would have died away by now? I went round his flat this morning but he wouldn't open the door. I know he was there because I could hear him in the kitchen. I've sent him emails begging him to give me closure if he doesn't want me anymore so that I can try to move on and let go, but he won't reply. I've told him I won't try to pressure him into coming back if he doesn't want to - I just need to know what's happening. Surely anger doesn't last this long. I keep thinking he is using that argument as a way to end the relationship because he didn't really want it.Please - if there are any men reading this and it sounds familiar, could you give me an idea of what's happening? I'm so lost and I can't stop crying. When I think of what we had and now it's come to this..... I just don't know. Thank you so much.
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got back together, insecure, move on, period, soulmate Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): Some people are offended more than others by things such as that. If he is offended then it could have killed the "flame" you talk about.
Have you contacted him at all??
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