A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, Please help and advise!! thanks. I have been dating this lovely guy for around a month now. Things were going well, and he used to call or text every morning and around the same time every night . I last heard from him now 2 days ago first thing in the morning and things seemed ok, but he has not initiated any contact since then. I'm stuck as it's his birthday tommorow, and we arranged to go to a sauna and swim tommorow afternoon, and I had booked the afternoon off work which he knew about. I called him yesterday morning, and he was fine but tired, then we swapped some texts and he said ' oh the gym called me to arranage, but I told them next week, as I am busy this week'. So I texted back saying' ok, well, I booked half day off , but cannot get any time off next week!! Some other time. .. then I emailed him some sort of joke and nothing. We also fell out on saturday night a bit as he was very late turning up at my house. I now have not heard from him for two days ( he has only responded) and am wondering if he has lost interest, and if I should even bother sending him a birthday text tommorow if I do not hear from him? please advise as to what is going on with this guy. I have been dating him for a month, and all of a sudden he changes . thanks. x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2011): I would send a brief text wishing him a happy birthday and leave it at that. If you don't hear with 2 or 3 days - then forget him. It is early days, so I would not appear overly eager. Leave the ball in his court for a bit, don't contact him. Sometimes people just go cold on you, so see how things develope or not.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for yuor answer. I wil bear it in mind!! it is to ealry to tell. Just strange that it;s gone from loads of calls to nothing!! x
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A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (24 March 2011):
 You and he are still in the very beginning stages of getting acquainted. Not very considerate of him to turn up very late at your house, either on Saturday night.....hope you were not thinking of sleeping with him, its your call, of course, but its better to wait at least a couple of months before getting sexual with him. Men tend to place a higher value on you when they have to wait, and pursue you a bit. Maybe they do push for sex early on, but paradoxically there's then a risk that if you do have sex they may well think you're "too easy" - even if both of you wanted it.......but I digress.
He certainly appears to be very casual and not too bothered about celebrating his birthday, esp. as you took time off work for it.
Having said all that, it could be that there WAS in fact a good reason for his tardiness on Saturday (and maybe he was going to take you out to dinner, or somewhere nice); and perhaps he is genuinely busy.
Anyway, we can't know whether he's lost interest or not. Remember: dates are essentially "trying out" how well-suited two people are. All being well, you discover you have lots in common, and really enjoy being together, and in short, are compatible. Otherwise, you find that while there might have been an initial attraction, it turns out there really isn't enough basis to continue...... At this point, for you it's a little too early to tell.
I'd say stay cool for a bit, and see if he comes "roaring back" as it were all enthusiastic and eager to see you. Hope it turns out the way you want; but if not, at least you have invested "only" a month in him.......
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