A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello!!Me and my husband have dated for 3 years and we just got married last summer. I love him so much and he loves me the same. But there was things of been bothering me....:(We used to have very active for sex when we started dating. And it very slow down now which I understand because we have teenage kids in a house and we been together long enough I guess? But I’m not satisfied and we have talked about this and he said he isn’t comfortable when kids are up which I totally agree and I don’t want it when they are up. And he said his sex drive got lowered... I’m 35 and he is 33.we still have sex prob 1-2 a week. But what bothers me is he watches porn everyday and every shower he takes he take his phone with him and watches porn. I even caught him couple of times but I didn’t wanted to hurt his feelings so I didn’t say anything. I was shocked but I understood that too. And what he watching on porn is BBW porn and I’m not small but still I don’t have that type of body. And one day we had sex and he went to sleep after and then woke up and went to take a shower and I heard he watching porn again.... is this means he isn’t satisfied with me? Or he just lost sexual interest with me? I felt Ugly and I lost my confidence since he have to watch porn everyday. I’m asian and what he watches is black or Latino..... and he is black so he might not interested me in sexually no more? I don’t know.... but I’m really lost....
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confidence, porn, sex drive Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2019): Who cares if he is upset when the subject is raised . Why are you putting his feelings above yours ? In fact why are you even considering his feelings when his willingness to objectify and use women had been put above your feelings and right to be respected . You should be angry and willing to stand up for your right to be respected and happy . Do you have children . What if you had daughters ? Would you allow him to train you daughter to belief their are f toys for the male of the species?This doesn’t mean you have to be aggressive . You simply need to give himOne shot to call a counsellor and start attending regular sessions immediately.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2019): Don't tip toe around him OP! He's your husband and you are supposed to be his equal partner in life. You have needs too and they are important. He is currently not meeting those needs. Are you just going to continue for the rest of your life feeling unhappy and unfulfilled? This is how affairs start! Tell him how you feel. Tell him you will not put up with his porn addiction. Tell him if he doesn't get help, the marriage is over.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the answers everyone. This really make me feel better because I couldn’t share with nobody. And yes I think it’s addiction and I read and googled a lot for this porn addiction and seen this is kinda common.... well me and my husband need to work on this because this bother me a lot. And I felt like I never be enough especially he watches porn after we had sex too. :( but I’m sure he will be upset once I will
Ask him this is bothering me..so idk how am I going to approach him....
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (7 January 2019):
 There are two issues here:
• Once or twice per week is still a good amount of sex. You're insecure about the type of porn he watches, so you need to work on that.
• He definitely seems addicted to porn. Discuss it with him calmly and ask him to seek help for it because a bit of porn is okay, but not the amount he is.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2019): Another man lost to the supposedly harmless endless stream of objectification of women that is modern day porn. Honestly it’s almost impossible for a man who gets caught up in this to overcome it and start valueing the typical body of his wife or mother of god children . People willProtest that porn is so diverse and ‘there’s all types of women’ but it still glorifies youth and a certain body type with the rest being seen as freak fetishes . Once a man has this mentality he is spoilt goods and your best moving on imo . If he let himself get caught up in it one has to question his love for anyone and what’s in his underwear Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2019): It sounds as if he may be addicted to porn. Unfortunately, this is becoming fairly common. It can ruin his interest in having a vital sex life with his partner, in this case you. You need to talk with him and express your concerns. If your sex life doesn't improve then he likely has a problem that should be treated just like any other addiction. Counsel, therapy, support groups, etc are available to him.
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