A
female
age
41-50,
*ue b
writes:I'm really confused, my husband and i live seperately, are still married and still love each other very much. At weekends when my children 15, 12 and 10 go with their dad, i stop over at my hubbys house, we watch Dvds, curl up on the sofa together and i usually stop the night with him. We don't really get to much time together, due to work commitments so this is our only 'us' time. Last week my husband text to say his son of 25 was moving in with him as he had split with his girlfriend. It sounds really selfish but all i could think of was where did that leave my hubby and i, we wouldn't have that little bit of time together that i value so much. My hubby has never stayed at my house with me overnight, not in the five years we have been together, because he says he needs to be there for the two dogs. Since his son has moved in, i am no longer allowed to stay over at my hubbys house or visit
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female
reader, Brigid +, writes (17 June 2008):
I have to say that I agree with Danielepew, this sounds like a really weird set up. He's never stayed at your house because of the dogs? Are the dogs not capable of coming in the car to your house? Have you not introduced your husband to your children? Have you not met his son?
A marriage is a serious thing, and this needs to made clear.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 June 2008):
 This is a good question, but one I would want some clarification about.
I understand this man is your husband. I assume the three children are not his; they are from a previous marriage. For some reason, you're not living together. Fine. When your own children are away, you have some time with your husband. Fine. And now that his son, a 25 year old, is coming, you can't stay with your husband? How come? Is it that your husband doesn't let you stay?
If that is the case, I think you should talk to him right away, in very blunt terms. Something like "Am I your wife or what?" There should be room in his heart, and in his home, for his wife.
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