A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello. My name's Brian. I have a very confusing situation.It has been 3 years, since I have been romantically rejected by my first girlfriend. She offered to be my friend. However, I found that she wasn't very trustworthy, after knowing that a month after rejecting me, she had started another relationship with someone else. At this point, we both angrily agreed on never talking to one another again.However, just last week, she acted as though I was still a friend of hers, although I had rudely told her she wasn't a friend of mine, as she hurt my feelings too much.What's she trying, to do? Run a game on me? Is she trying to confuse me? She has a beautiful personality. Don't get me wrong. However, as she was dumping me, she told me she didn't feel she was going to date, for half a year. (She uses phrases like that.).She's usually honest as Washington, about these things. I'm still in shock, from her "Oh! BRIAN! MY BEST BUDDY!" episode. Ugggg! Any help will be appreciated. Thanks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2012): Thanks, for all the replies, so far. I hope that she doesn't try anything more, to confuse me.... I was somewhat insane, when it was fresh in my system. However, I just had to take good care of myself. I now feel ready, for the dating game - that is, provided someone takes me.Um, to the second one who replied, why would she miss me, if she told me to leave her alone, when I told her I was unsatisfied with just being friends with her?Yet, in a crowd, months later, (Again, it was just a week ago), she did that confusing thing. I guess I should ask her why she views me as a friend, still.Why does she miss me, though? I'm not too willing to take her back in my life, provided she had a very negative impact on how I felt, when I was rejected.But, yes. Thanks, for all the replies. I'll try to keep everyone posted, on if it happens again, or, if it gets worse.- Brian.
A
female
reader, PeanutButter  +, writes (25 March 2012):
 Perhaps she feels as though she can have her cake and eat it too. I would tell her to leave you alone. Tell her there are no hard feelings but that you have moved on. This would be best all around. You are worth so much more to someone you just haven't found yet!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (24 March 2012):
 Dumping someone is not a nice thing to do, and it feels even worse when the other person (Brian) has been kind and nice and overall good. So people tend to say things that they suppose will be helpful to relieve the pain. "We're friends" is perhaps what people say most often.
But the poor party who hears this is still in love, and he (most usually it's a he) clings to hope, and reads the signals in the most favorable way possible, so he (it's usually a he) gets confused, becomes pushy and then is told to go away, usually in stronger terms than the previous time.
This is what is happening to you.
Of course she was thinking about seeing someone else. Why shouldn't she? She just thought she would "ease the pain" and sweet Brian wouldn't get to know anyways, so...
I think you're still in love and so you're just ripe for another big disappointment. Don't fall for this. Whatever she says, bear in mind that the relationship is OVER. Stick to the hard facts.
Move on to a different girl. And learn the 1-2-3 just in case.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2012): Dear Brian , I think she's trying to talk to you , people mess up and maybe she's sorry but just stubborn maybe she just wants to talk to you pretend everythings okay to just get your trust slowly maybe she DOES MISS YOU
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A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (24 March 2012):
 Just the way a sub-marine pings the ocean to find objects, so is she pinging, by way of reaching out to you to investigate whether you still have feelings, or even are interested in her. More often than not, show interest, and once she has gotten the ego boost she was searching for, SHE'S GONE...(or at least gone cold on you).
That's an experience i've had with ex's many times, even as recent as last week but the lessons I learnt led me to conclude that more often than not, it's never wise to hooke up with an ex again.
You sound like you aren't over her yet, but be cautious about her intentions towards you
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