A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:For a year, I was in a relationship with someone who I loved, of course, but he didn't seem very dedicated. He never told his parents about us. He was never as eager as I was to talk or go out. We didn't see each other every day or even each week because he lives in a different state (about 4 hours), so I would always try to cam with him. Was never interested. Some days I was always the one texting/calling him. Some days I would wait and see if he would text/call me, and he rarely did. It made me feel like I wasn't as important to him as he was to me...So we broke up, and he was instantly sorry.... but he didn't really change. I still really loved him... so we began our relationship again. Fast forward another year, same story. So I break up with him... again. I still loved him (I still might) but I was getting tired of the feeling of him having a lack of interest in me. It hurt that after two years he never even mentioned me to his parents (who he seems to be very close to!). So I began to have a lack of interest in the relationship as well, and ended it.This time around, he is actually paying attention to me. Magic! Always calling me and texting me, even though we are not in a relationship anymore. He has apologized multiple times and expressed that he is still interested in me.But when he calls, I make up an excuse. When he text, he texts me frequently and all DAY. Where was all this interested in me when we were dating?! Now I am no longer interested in him, aside from us being friends maybe.If I tell him to back off, I'm sure he'll be hurt. But I want to start dating again.Could use some advice... if he is paying this much attention to me now, maybe he has changed and I should give him a second chance? Or is this temporary?Should I tell him to back off... if so, how can I do it without hurting feelings?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 June 2015):
 I'd say move on. You two had a crappy LDR and now that YOU dumped him... he has "changed" and can actually PAY attention to you.
Go and tell him, I'm blocking your number and info because I NEED to move on, I'm not interested in dating you again. And I don't need you as a friend (because trust me, he ISN'T a friend).
The CUT the contact 100% (yes he might be a little butt-hurt, but YOU have to look out for yourself, HE sure isn't.) STOP playing his games.
Move on. Date a guy who isn't so far away. Someone you can ACTUALLY see and spend time with.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (15 June 2015):
What your really "telling" us... is that YOU had a relationship with HIM.... but he was pretty indifferent to you....
Tread lightly... and let HIM convince YOU that he's serious. AND, be prepared to let him go at the drop of a hat.. since he's made it clear that you don't matter, that much, to him.
Good luck....
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