A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I can't get this off my mind, and I'm wondering if someone could possibly understand what's going on, because I sure don't!For a few weeks I knew my crush liked me back because he told me and also reminded me about it. He wanted to ask me out, but at the time we talked a bit about it, I was depressed and wasn't in the mood to try and figure it out right then. The day after that, it seemed like he didn't want to talk much. I was in a bad mood and snapped at him when he asked me what I was doing later. I said "nothing" and ignored him for the rest of the day. The next day I apologized to him for being a jerk, and he said he never noticed I was being mean (which I didn't really believe). We used to hang out during lunch nearly every day, but he's been busy and we don't talk as much as we used to anymore. I ask him every day if he'd like to hang out with me during lunch, but he always says that he's busy with homework. We used to joke all the time, but he seems to be shy with me, and he's not very outgoing anymore. Some days he does act like he used to, and he flirts and makes jokes, but other days he clams up and doesn't want to be around me. Have I scared him away? If I have, is there any chance of getting him back? I've realized this past week that I may not only like him but love him. He means so much to me, and we liked each other for a while, so I really don't want to lose him. What should I do? Since he's busy a lot of the time, should I write him a note? I wrote him a note a few weeks back and he really appreciated it, so should I do that again? I've never met someone like him, and I feel like if I don't bring this up to him, he'll lose interest in me (unless he already has). I knew from the day I met him that we would either be together or just part ways. We can't just be friends, because friends don't act this way with each other. I can't see him as a friend, anyway. Does he still like me? If he's lost interest, can I find a way to get it back?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2014): IAmHereToHelpYou nailed it. Stop making yourself so available to him. The next time he clams up and acts like he doesn't want to be around you, leave him alone. Don't be mean about it, don't tell him outright that you're doing it, just go do your own thing. If he still likes you, he'll initiate contact the next time. Think of it as kind of taking turns. When you start a conversation with him, wait for him to start the next one. Then you can go again, then wait for him again. If he still likes you, he'll put in the effort. If not, well, at least you know.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2013): You are both only 16 years old; and relationships between young people in your age group rarely last longer than a few months. At most, they breakup on and off.
First make sure he isn't interested in seeing someone else.
It might not be entirely your fault. He is a 16 year-old boy, and can't always be that dependable. There is a cooling period, and he'll sometimes act a little distant.
Your mood swings and snapping at him did the damage. Guys take that to heart; but they never admit it to you.
They don't want to look too sensitive. One of the things guys hate most is when his girl seems to turn on him when he's doing his best to be a good boyfriend. If you have a pattern of being moody and grouchy, you push him further and further away each and every time it happens. He will get tired of it. He'll decide that is the type of personality you have, and expect that you'll always be moody and snippy.
Apologies won't mean anything anymore, if it keeps happening over and over. If you know you've been going off at him about little things and being mean; he will start to lose feelings for you, and want to be around you less.
As for being friends, you want more than that. The minute he sees another girl, you'll get jealous.
See this as a lesson. You have a right to be angry when he has done something wrong. If he hasn't, and you're just in a bad mood; it isn't fair to take it out on your boyfriend.
It's up to him if everything can be worked out; but if he isn't acting the same anymore; consider it over and just try to move on.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (31 December 2013):
Men are not very good with handling moods, and have their feelings hurt for no reason. It's seeing a cute animal, trying to pet it and then it attacks you. Don't really want to go back there again.
Call him, go some place alone...and just talk. Explain what happened that day. Appologise again, and express your true feelings. If he does not want to be close to you again, at lease your did your best, and can be proud of that.
No one will ever know how you feel, unless you say something.
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