A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years and we have had a lot of problems recently with money and changing jobs and living apart after living together due to his work placement. Anyway, I have often been really angry at him and have considered breaking up because of this, I know some things are not entirely his fault but in other ways he wasn't trying. The question is we were looking forward to spending time together next month, and we had lots of plans, and I don't know if I should go ahead with our holiday. Why make happy holiday memories when we are having a hard time, and even might break up.
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (30 November 2012):
Why bother getting up today if Im just ultimately going to die at some point?
The point is - whatever situation you are in, you only get so much time here. Make the best of every minute.
A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (30 November 2012):
Maybe happy holidays help you remember why you are together and give you the time and opportunity to talk about how you want to be and how youmake things better. Just blaming him for everything that troubles you doesnt really work - and if you are so miserable you dont give him much motivation to try a bit harder. Despite 3 years together it sounds like you are still not behaving like partners.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2012): Harbouring resentments and then making decisions that harm the relationship will definitely terminate a relationship, especially when you have so much more to gain by focusing on the strong points of why this Man wowed your socks off in the first place as well as what DOES work or when you both make things work. Recall those happy, positive moments. Also, YES- go on the trip. Create more postive and happy moments.
Often when we are going through difficult times, we tend to let such times darken our inner self and influence our thoughts and heart when we need to invite in LIGHT. Positivity. Kindness. Patience. Forgiveness. Work to maintain the friendship.
When you feel frustrated, go to him, sit with him. Listen to his heart beat. Remember how loving this man can be. He's not perfect but Sweetie, neither are you.
COMMUNICATE. Tell him how you feel but do it in ways where it doesn't come off like finger pointing or he is the sole blame. He isn't. You are perceiving and believing he got you to where you are but that's not entirely true.
Overcoming and working with your partner means you grow stronger in friendship, love, trust.
If you feel you can't talk to him, couples counselling.
Otherwise you will develop a habit that when things get tough and appear dark- you'll walk/run. That doesn't make you trustworthy or reliable now does it?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 November 2012):
 you MIGHT break up but you might NOT..... part of relationships is working through the hard times...
he moved for work not because he didn't want to be with you...
is it temporary? will you be moving to join him? how far apart are you?
you have several choices here:
break up now.
break up after the holidays
try and work it out... in which case you give it your best shot.... happy memories will always be that even if you break up.
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