A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 39 year old mom who has been married 15 years and have 4 children. Ok, here is my thing, I am totally turned off by sex. It totally grosses me out and I have no sex drive whatsoever. So the reality of it is that we have no sex life at all. Am I the only one out there that feels like this? Any suggestions?
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 Nope, i could take it or leave it these days, and am more than happy to leave it, but its easy for me, i am single lol
I'm not too sure what you can do to sort it, maybe go to your docs and see if its a hormone thing going on?
C xxxx
A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (26 June 2008):
 No, you're not the only one. I went through something like that, but it didn't last very long and now I'm more enthusiastic than ever.
Why does it "gross you out"? What do you find unpleasant about it? Don't necessarily tell us, but you need to have clear in your own mind what it is you don't like.
Equally, you need to be clear in your mind what it was that you did like about sex, assuming you did like it once.
Is it boredom? Is it that after 15 years you and your husband always do exactly the same as you have always done, and that just doesn't "do it" for you any more? That's more easily fixed, because there are a million and one things you can do with each other that don't necessarily have to be directly sexual but that can help to bring back the sparkle and the joy of physical contact.
Have you talked to your husband about it? How does he feel? Are there things he would like to do that you could explore together - even after 15 years of marriage there may well be things that he has always wanted to try and that could well rekindle the spark if you can both approach it with an open mind.
Finally (for the moment anyway!), why are you asking? Is it that you WANT to have an active sex life with your husband again, or that he wants it, or simply that you feel you OUGHT to have it? It isn't essential. It's a joy that I think it would be a pity to lose, but there are plenty of married couples who are quite content with being close and don't need to be having sex all the time (or any of the time) for their relationship and their lives to be just as satisfying and fulfilling.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): God do I know what you talk about. And you always here from your friends how good it is ect...
I wonder if people lie i honestly do.
I have been married for 2 years together for 8 1/2.... I mean I don't know what to suggest to you just want to let you know you are not alone!
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