A
female
age
51-59,
*usank
writes:Has anyone ever been in a relationship with a person with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). I am currently seperated from this man. We have been married 11 years and have 2 children. He always has many projects and never finishes one. he loses things constantly. He is a dreamer and doesn't deal with real financial issues. He had a company and lost it due to chronic illiness on top of the ADHD. I have been nurse, wife, mother, secretary, account etc.. I am so tired. I just want to know if anyone has had to deal with this type of marriage? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, floraltemptaions  +, writes (1 May 2007):
I've done a lot of research on ADHD and ADD as it is truely all around us. I used to be a secretary at a public school, and out of 200 kids, 22 of them came to the office twice a day to get their meds for such disorders. My nephew has also been diagnosed. While a lot of people say "see a doc", I dont believe that living on medication for the rest of your life is the answer. There is lots that can be done in the holistic world, take a visit to a naturapathic doctor, or even a very knowledgable health food store. I have also found that a lot of these cases can be lessened considerably, just by controlling their diet. My sister now controls my nephews diet, and the physician cant' figure out the change in him... he is truely a different kid. While probably not all cases are the same... I figure anything is worth a shot. Best of luck!
A
female
reader, NJmomabear +, writes (1 May 2007):
 I have ADD myself and cannot tolerate the medications anymore so life has been becoming more like your x husbands again. We didn't ask to be this way. I know its hard to understand that because it seems soo deliberate. On top of that there isn't alot of advocacy or help for families w. ADD and ADHD, we are all pretty much suffering in silence just like you. I've search high and low for support to elivate the stress on my family, but have returned with not much but some crummy counceling groups. We need some intervention here and there is none accept for the bad kind like Dyfus. You will need professional help though to help you cope. I don't know what is available to you locally but its worth a look cos making you tired is also taking away from what attention should go to your kids.
I am a mom, and a good mother, but that is about all I can do without droppin the ball in other places in life. When I do have trouble I tell everyone in my family and around me the truth and ask them to help me keep my daughter in check who will take advantage sometimes.
Your x has to start being aware of his limits and taking some responsibility for being a part of the solution when he gets in over his head. Some anti-anxiety or trazedone might help cool his neurotransmitters. Also phosphytidalserine or tryptophan type of vitamins are helpful too from the health food store. The more you learn the better incase one of your kids starts exhibiting symptoms.
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