A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Has anyone felt this way in their thirties? I love in a major city in the east coast (US) and I want to so desperately leave my job my family my everything behind - I almost want to disappear and go missing - a lot of things in my life have turned out a disappointment - my love life - my parents (way too judgmental and controling) my ex friends who just gossip and at women that can’t be trusted . I feel thag I just want to erase my past - I have shut off all social media - stopped talking to my friends that I used to talk to and to be honest I don’t miss competing with them and socializing about gossip and would like to cut off contact with my family slowly but surely ( they aren’t great parents and have failed me emotionally)Has anyone completely moved and drastically cut everyone off? I feel like the longer I stay here the more it eats at me. One of my confidants said that whatever I am chasing I won’t fond unless I resolve my emotions - I don’t get it?My parents are who they are ( pieces of s@@@) - my love life is non existent and friends...well what for - I feel dis attached to my beighborhood - my city - just my everything around me Anyone have any tips - I am lookin to save up some money before I can plan on an escape plan but I’m scared - not to leave my parents / surroundings but not being able to make it to another state alone etc
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2018): I live in the US and spent time in Arizona. Left it all behind and it did relieve the social drama and I was able to form new, healthy friendships. The child hood issues will def follow you. If you keep saving, see if you can take a few weeks off to test drive a huge move. Hugs.
A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (23 May 2018):
I think you're one of our regular posters (just an observation - not a criticism). And if I remember rightly, you are already in therapy so perhaps chat to them about it.
But let me explain a little about what your friend means. Moving house or to a different area will not solve all your problems - no matter how much it might be your dream. You will simply take all your feelings, thoughts and attitudes with you to the new place. your fear of being judged and of being inadequate will follow you there too.
Sylvia Plath, who battled with mental health issues all her life, summed it up so well in her book "The Bell Jar"
"...if I'd had a ticket to Europe or a round-the-world cruise, it wouldn't have made one scrap of difference to me, because wherever I sat - on the deck of ship or at a street cafe in Paris or Bangkok - I would be sitting under the same glass bell jar, stewing in my own sour air."
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2018): Yes.
I have done this.
I have left my parents. My friends. The world.
I have no one. I have made everything out of nothing but - ME!
I find myself with ME
I find myself with I
I find myself with AM
What a nightmare
( for everyone else)
Can you think of anything worst? Nothing but ME?
I can't
You are waking up.
CONGRATULATIONS :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 May 2018):
 You know OP, it's called EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE for a reason. People drag it along with them where ever they go.
Moving doesn't always change a person's life for the better. Especially if they end up isolated and alone.
However since you don't have kids or own property TRYING to make a go at it somewhere else could be a fresh start for you, but I think you need to be realistic about your expectations. I think your "confidant" is right. You have a HUGE chip on your shoulder and THAT will follow you where ever you go, you have unresolved issues with your parents and your social circle and how you view life. THAT will move with you. And they are YOUR issues. Emotional BAGGAGE.
I would not "go missing" or run away. You aren't 5 anymore.
I think saving up is good. DECIDING where you want to live and get a job there BEFORE moving is a good idea too. Same with living accommodation, even if temporary.
Maybe talking to a therapist BEFORE making this drastic choice could be another GOOD idea.
And IF your parents are so horrible and negative influence on you - WHY not just cut them off now? You don't have to move to Alaska or the Moon to do that.
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